1) Casual encounters on craiglist. Have you ever gone through these things? It's a bunch of people posting pictures of their naughty bits and asking if anyone wants to do some coke and have sex. I was going through them last night because I was bored and I found a couple of gems:
It is Saturday night and my daughter is sleeping, I am looking for a sexy woman to come over now for some NSA fun. Moaning is ok screaming is out we don't want to wake my 4 yr old. Please reply only if you are seriously interested in making this happen, I have had a long hard week and I need a release only after I make you cum at least twice. This is how I think it should go, you reply, we trade pics, then you come over. Afterward, either we say thank you and go our seperate ways or we do this once in a while.
You have a four year old daughter and you are inviting strangers to your house. Your child is danger of becoming a complete maniac. Congratulations.
ARE U SITTING UP PLAYING WITH THAT WET WET?
DO U WANNA BE BENDED OVER MY WASHING MACHINE ON SPIN CYCLE?
DO U WANT A MOUTH FULL OF BLACK COCKASUARUSH?
TAKE IT OUT & SPIT ON IT WHILE I SQUEEZE & SMACK THOSE TITTY NIPPLES.
PULL UR HAIR & BANG U FROM THE BACK .
PULL OUT & BUST IN UR FACE.
HIT ME UP, ALL UR PRAYERS WILL BE ANSWERED.
Cockasuarush? Really? Who wants to sleep with someone who compares their parts to an extinct species with the brain the size of a walnut? Also - titty nipples.
2) I just saw a thirteen year old boy at Starbucks with acne, a severe overbite and an iPhone. Good job, parents! You can afford an iPhone for a kid who will probably destroy it in a month but you can't be bothered to invest in braces or Proactive. Awesome.
I really hate people.
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7 years ago