Friday, February 29, 2008

20 Years Ago Today

Happy Leap Day! You know, that weird extra day we get every four years? (There are various rules about this, 2000 wasn't a Leap Year because it's a century marker and divisible by four. Or something.) Right. It's today. And it was on this day twenty years ago that my parents decided "Oh what the hell! We have a three and a half year old, let's get hitched!" Actually, as the story goes it was all my grandmother's idea, but that's another story entirely.

My parents decided to have a cheapie wedding because in 1988 we didn't have a lot of money. So they invited friends and family and everyone else who wanted to come along, dragged them all to City Hall, and then dragged them all back to our tiny two room apartment for a party. (I believe the biggest extravagance at the reception was shrimp cocktail that my mother prepared in advance.) I've been to many weddings (I was a flower girl in every family wedding including my parents and I have a huge family and my friends keep getting married) but my parent's always holds a special place in my heart. For starters, it is always referred to as "Our Wedding" because I stood in between them as they exchanged their vows. And also because it was more about celebrating their union than showing off. They didn't do anything fancy and the entertainment came in the form of my father, uncles, and cousin playing guitar, harmonica and singing. It was no frills and everyone had a great time. And, on top of everything else, because they got married on Leap Day at City Hall, it was covered by the news. When they asked my parents why they decided to get married on Leap Day my father replied, "Because it's cheaper! You only have to do something every four years!" Classy.

He kept his word, though. On my parent's first and second anniversary's they threw huge parties. My mother would make these fancy invitations on the computer and send them out in large envelopes. Most of the people who had been at the original wedding would come back to party all over again. The food would be better because my mother would have more time to prepare and my father would make a spice cake with cream cheese frosting. My parents knew how to throw a really awesome party.

Sorry to blather, but I'm thinking about all this because I got an e-mail from my grandmother today which ended with this:

Today is leap year day. Your parents got married 20 years ago, and
what a memorable event that was! I wonder if your 3-year-old memory
was able to keep any of it.

While I don't remember all of it, I do remember a lot more than I think most three year old children would. And I'm happy about that. But it's a mixed thing. Next month marks the six year anniversary of my father's death. I wonder what my life would be like if things hadn't gone down the way they did. I wonder if my parents would still be together right now. If so, we are missing out on one hell of a party. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I can't believe these people actually exist.

Feast your eyes on this:

STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Fucking Hiccoughs

I have had the hiccoughs (or hiccups. Whatever.) on and off ALL FREAKING DAY. But it's okay! Thanks to the wonder that is the internet, I have learned the following things:

Hiccups are sudden, involuntary contractions of the diaphragm muscle.

Actually, I already knew that one. I thought maybe some of you did not.

Although associated with a variety of ailments (some can be serious such as pneumonia or when harmful substances build up in the blood for example from kidney failure), hiccups are not serious and have no clear reason for occurring.

Excuse me? Hiccups can signal kidney failure? That seems like some shotty wiring right there. “Ah yes, connect the diaphragm to the kidneys and make it shake if they fail.” WHAT?

A case of the hiccups is rarely a medical emergency. If your hiccups last for more than 3 hours, occur with severe abdominal pain, or you spit up blood, however, you should seek medical attention.

Well DUH. Hiccups or not, if I start spitting up blood I’m calling a doctor.

Diagnosis is based on physical evaluation. Laboratory testing is rarely necessary unless your hiccups are a symptom of an associated condition.

If you need a doctor to diagnose your hiccups, you are an idiot. If your doctor needs to run lab tests in order to diagnose your hiccups, you need a new doctor.

  • For the common hiccups that will usually stop on their own, home remedies are generally recommended.
  • For more severe, persistent hiccups, your doctor may try medications to manage your hiccups. Chlorpromazine (Thorazine) is usually the first prescription medication tried for hiccups

Wait…Wait…hold up. Thorazine for hiccups? Seriously? Do you know what Thorazine is normally used for? TREATING SCHITZOPHRENIA. Fucking Hell. I am never going to the doctor for hiccups. Ever.

It’s not actually anything to worry about:

In healthy people, hiccups usually go away by themselves with no serious effects after that. If hiccups continue, however, they may cause social embarrassment and distress.

So Everything will be okay, even if you’re a little embarrassed. Unless of course you are coughing up blood or put on anti-psychotic medication.

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I have a loverly bunch of cashmere sweaters!

Deedle-lee-dee! There they are all standing in a row!

For the record - I have some wonderful wonderful friends. These friends are kind enough to clean out their closets and let me and a few other special people pick and choose from the lot.

I now own cashmere sweaters.

Cashmere is so soft.

I can has entire cashmere wardrobe?

Kthnx. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Monday, February 25, 2008

Spice Girls, Seth's Birthday, and Eddie Izzard. The best week of my life.

I'm not going to pretend that last week was all sunny, but the highlights most definitely outweighed the low-lights. Work was nutty, my sleep schedule was screwed up and the weather was shitty. But it was all okay because there was also lots of food, SPICE GIRLS, Seth's Birthday and Eddie Izzard. Fuck YES.

Spice Girls:

I have never been so excited about a show as I was about Spice Girls. Gearing up for the show felt like being twelve years old again. Butterflies and giggling lots and lots of jumping about while screeching, "OMG SPICE GIRLS!!!" It seriously impaired my brainpower. I became partially retarded. Karin and I got to Madison Square Garden and got to our seats and waited patiently for the show to start. We were patient only because there were cocktails with glowing LED swizzle sticks in them. Booze + glowing swizzle sticks = wee! Fun! The show started approximately thirty minutes late which was infuriating, but completely worth the wait. THEY ROSE OF THE FLOOR. The opened with "Spice Up Your Life!" Every last one of us was inadvertently slamming it to the left and shaking it to the right because we knew that we felt fine. When they sang Mama all of their children came on stage and Posh's youngest son started BREAK DANCING. It was not staged, he just started doing it! There were costume changes! And dance interludes! And solos! One of the costume changes involved the girls coming back on stage wearing new fangled versions of their 1997 costumes. Seeing Ginger Spice in a sequined Union Jack dress honestly made Karin and I cry. When the girls finally sang "Wannabe" I thought I was going to die. I was screaming my head off. Everyone around me was screaming their heads off. All of Madison Freaking Square Garden was screaming their heads off. Karin and I put our hands over our ears to block out all the screaming while also going, "Okay...ONE..TWO...THREE..AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Over and over again. At the end of the night we were out of breath of shaky. It was spectacular.

Seth's Birthday:

This year marked Seth's third birthday in New York City. The last two years he kept things relatively quiet; his first year here he had dinner with two friends and last year I took him out on his own. This year, however, he decided that he was going to have more of a party. So he did. On his actual birthday a couple of us went to this Italian place called Max's on Avenue B. They make their own lasagna and fettuccine noodles and it is damn tasty. The five of us hung out, ate our hearts out, and shared a bottle of wine. It was lovely. Then, on Friday night, Seth invited just about everyone he knows in NYC out for a night of southern food and beer over at Mama's, also on Avenue B. His original plan was to head home by about 1am, but we managed to keep him out until 4:30am. I think he even had a shot! (Seth, for the most part, is not a drinker.) He also may have tried the sour patch kid infused vodka which seemed like a really good idea to the rest of us at about 2am. (For the record - Sour patch kid infused vodka is actually completely disgusting and I do not advise anyone to try it ever. It is fucking vile.) From Mama's we headed to Snack Dragon Taco Shack (had never been before. Am kicking myself for never trying this place before. Holy shit. So tasty), and from tacos we headed to Rififi. At that point Seth left and Karin and I stayed out far far too late.

Eddie Izzard:

I freaking love Eddie Izzard. I have loved him since the first time someone showed me Dressed to Kill and I believe that I will always always love him. The show at the Union Square Theater was supposed to start at 10:30, but of course did not actually start until 11:00. (Again, completely worth the wait.) He came out bearded and wearing jeans, a t-shirt and blazer, which was a bit of a shock at first. I was disappointed that he wasn't wearing something fantastic along with fantastic make-up, but I got over it pretty quickly. (For those of you who don't know who Eddie Izzard He talked about the things he normally talks about: The Bible, God, history, etc, but in new and exciting ways! He described an elephant as the back end of a squirrel with a giant toaster for a body. Hilarious! To me. Who was there. Look, just trust me here, it was fucking funny. Aaaand I just found out the show has been extended through March 8, so if you get a chance to go I would advise it. This show doesn't seem to have a name, so I'm not sure that they are filming it.

So week ruled. I need a nap.

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Thursday, February 21, 2008

I dress like a small child and other things

So I know I really need to blog about a lot of things including Toy Fair and Spice Girls. Both of those will have to wait for another day, but I will tell you the following things:

a) Spice Girls was AMAZING. I CRIED. It was one of the most fun nights of my life. I fucking cried. It was spectacular. And Shiny! SO SHINY. Gaaaaaaaaah

b) I have still not found my flat iron. Sadface!

c) I had this conversation with my boss today:

Him: Why are you dressed like a grownup today?

Me: I'm not really.

Him: Well, you're wearing pants!

Apparently pants now qualify only as adult wear. Good to know. I think he's still making fun of me for the time I accidentally forgot to wear pants to the office. Yes, you read that right, I once spent an entire day at the office without pants. Because I am dumb.

About a year and a half ago I bought this little black dress. It was adorable! It had buttons and was going to look really good over a pair of colored tights. I just knew it. So Monday rolled around and I decided I was going to wear my new dress. I put it on over some cable knit tights and went on my merry way. Only after I got to the office did I realize that my new "dress" was actually a shirt. A shirt that did not quite cover my bottom. On that day I went into my boss's office and we had this conversation:

Him: Why aren't you wearing pants?

Me: I...what?

Him: That isn't a dress.

Me: It is! I bought it this weekend and...::looking down:: fuck. It's a shirt. dumb.

Sorry for the lack of updating. I have been very very busy.

I would like to give a late birthday shout out to Seth, because yesterday was his birthday and he is awesome. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Sarah Booz and the quest for the nonexistent flat iron...

So my roommates? Still suck. I have this flat iron that I have had since I was seventeen. My father got it for me the last Christmas he was alive and it still works wonders. I adore it. My roommates, however, seem to think it's a tool and continuously remove it from the bathroom. The last time it went missing I found it hiding out under the kitchen sink. Apparently it was put there "Because it had a plug."

So tonight I come running home to get ready for Valentine's Day dinner with Seth. I gave myself a mini haircut last night for the sole purpose of straightening it this evening. I get home and guess what! My flat iron, she is missing. Only one of my roommates is home so I ask him if he has seen it.

"Have you seen my flat iron?"

I text the other roommate:
"Have you seen my flat iron?"

Okay...the roommates haven't seen it. A hunting I will go. I tear apart the house in a frenzy trying to find this thing. Roommate who is home hears my bangs and aggravated groans and hides out in his room. After approximately twenty minutes I go into his room.
"Are you sure you haven't seen my flat iron?"
"Dude, I don't even know what a flat iron is!"

Fucking awesome.

So I text message roommate number two:
"Are you sure you haven't seen my flat iron? Because I asked roommate number one if he was sure and he said he didn't know what I was talking about. Do you know what a flat iron is?"

I still haven't gotten a response.
So in case you were wondering why on Earth I would be updating my blog when I should be going out and doing fun Valentine's Day things with my boyfriend; the answer is this:

The time alloted to hair straightening is now filled with absolutely nothing. So I'm sitting on the computer killing time until I have to walk to the restaurant. I am in a foul mood. And to make things even more awesome? I just spoke to Seth and he is also in a foul mood.

Happy Freaking Valentine's Day.

OH...and in case you are a dumb boy and have absolutely no idea what this post is about:

There. That is a flat iron. The exact same one I have, as a matter of fact!

Oh, and also? Blue Cheese dressing should be refrigerated and not be kept on your desk next to the hot wing sauce that also resides in here. Just sayin'.

GAAAAH ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

I completely forgot!

Happy Valentines Day, Internet!
Sarah Booz
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There are doing work on my office building. Cleaning, or something. They are doing this on our floor. Directly outside of our windows. There are drills. And hammers. And I swear they are actually working inside of my head. When they really get going it hits a certain pitch that I can feel in my TEETH.

This is going to be going on for a year. I am going to feel like I'm getting a cavity filled every day for a year.

I am going to go completely and totally fucking insane. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Once again, none of these things are anything like the others

Remember my retarded roommates? Well, it just gets better:

Why would anyone put a lint roller in the silverware drawer? I went into the silverware drawer last night and the rack holding all our forks, spoons and knives was pushed way way back to make room for a lint roller. I didn't even know we had a lint roller! I moved it.


Have you ever seen Liar Liar? Do you remember that part where Cary Elwes tells Maura Tierney that he loves her on the plane and she responds by choking a little and saying "Thank you!"? I once did that to someone. When I was 17 I dated a boy who we will call "B." B and I dated for about seven months. We were in my bed at my mother's house one night, hanging out, about a month and a half in, and we had the following exchange:

B: I'm going to tell you something.
Me: Kay!
B: I know it feels early, but I really feel like I need to say it.
Me: Kay!
B: So I'm just going to say it.
Me: Kay!
B: I love you.
Me: Kay!

Needless to say, he wasn't very pleased. I understand not lying about it, but I maybe could have been a bit more tactful. Ah well, I was only seventeen.


I just found out that one of my favorite bloggers, the lovely Amalah, is pregnant. Keep in mind that I have never met this woman. I squealed with glee. A woman I have never met is pregnant! Yay! Seriously, though, check out her blog. I need to figure out a way to become friends with this woman. I adore her.


For the SECOND time this week I have gotten up early, made lunch and breakfast at home and managed to have a cup of tea before leaving the house! I also went to bed before 10pm last night. Apparently I need at least 8.5 hours of sleep a night to function like a normal person in the morning.

Good to know.


God, next week is seriously going to rule so hard. Man oh man oh man. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

So next week is going to be THE MOST AWESOME EVAR

Which will rule because so far this week has BLOWN DONKEY BALLS.

Let's do a run down, shall we?

-The weather. It's freezing! It's snowing! It's raining! It's...warm? AHAHA's FREEZING AGAIN. I just want warm, dry feet. Is that too much to ask?

-I got my period. Whine whine whine...I want to tear out my uterus. Blargh

-Gave a presentation for work. Presentation BOMBED.

-Feet? Still wet.

-Chills! Sweats! Guh?

-My alarm clock...she hates me.

-The MTA. She hates me.


Basically? It's only Wednesday and this week is totally the suck.

(Though there have been good points, don't get me wrong. Hung out with X-tina and The Garlic and finally got to meet The Garlic's boyfriend who we will call "Swam." He was very nice and very nicely dressed. I approve whole-heartedly.)

But next week! Next week is going to RULE SO HARD I can't even see straight!

Sunday = Toy Fair = Sweet.
Wednesday = Seth's Birthday = Awesome yay!
Saturday = OMGOMFG EDDIE IZZARD OMGAAAH = head explodes.

I can has best week evar?

Can it be next week now? ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Soooooooo yeah

A couple of times in the last week I have said (out loud and in the company of people who are not of the blogging persuasion), "I'm going to blog about that!"

And then I didn't.

At this point I have actually forgotten what most of those things were. So they probably were not very exciting.


My weekend? She can be summed up with "beer, beer and more beer." And then some more for good measure. But there was also dancing, working, seeing people I hadn't seen in ages, and too much information being spilled at an inappropriate time thanks to Vicky and beer. Oh, and also? There was beer. guuuh.

So it was a fun weekend, albeit a little foggy. I should not stay up until six in the morning two nights in a row because it messes with my head. Grumble.

Then today I spent more than an hour at Trader Joe's stocking up on food for the week. I was all excited to come back home and cook a delicious meal for myself and relax, but when I got home I remembered the standoff I am currently having with my roommates.

I live with two boys and they do not seem to understand things like "the trash needs to go out" or "dishes should not sit in the sink for more than 24 hours...or 48 hours...or 950 hours" or (and this one is my favorite) "Moving the dishes out of the sink is not the same as actually washing them." So basically I am living in absolute filth at the moment. Seth came over earlier and the first words out of his mouth were, "This place is disgusting." Thank you, darling. I'm aware.

Oh...oh my GOD. I hear movement in the kitchen. And it sounds like someone taking out the trash! I need to investigate.

AH! YES! I fucking WON!

Now I'm going to go do the dishes. Blargh.

Happy Sunday! ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Friday, February 08, 2008

A note about the picture in the side bar

My mom (on one of the rare occasions she actually looks at this) saw the picture and goes, "Oh my GOD. Is that you??"

"Well duh."

"Oh my GOD you look TERRIBLE. And FAT."

"Yeah, but I'm wearing a shirt that says 'I WILL EAT YOU!!!' and the blog is called 'Sarah Booz Will Eat You' so it's funny!"

"Take it down! You look awful! And FAT. Seriously, I mean," She points to my stomach in the picture. "What is that??"

"Funny? Haha? Will Eat You?"

"It's terrible."

"I'm not taking the damn picture down." ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Non-n3rdz be dumb, yo.

Yesterday outside of school I heard a girl say this:

"Oh my GOD, last night we were laughing so hard at the EL OH EL Cats!!!"

Bitch, it's LOLCATS. One word. Get it right or pay the price.

Fuckin' A.
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Tuesday, February 05, 2008

I done jinxed myself

A) Three times in the last week I have had a dream that I was knocked up.

B) This post probably jinxed me. I'm going to have kids who won't eat anything or have food allergies up the wazoo. I just know it.

C) Voting tomorrow! Oh man! It's going to be my first time. I was very much of legal age last time there was an election, but I was across the country at the time. No, I'm not irresponsible, I signed up for an absentee ballot; it just never came. I called the election board a week ahead of time and said, "Hey guys, still haven't received my ballot. What gives?" They told me it would be there in time and not to worry. The day before the election I called again and again I said, "Hey guys, still haven't received my ballot. What gives?" This time they basically told me I was shit out of luck. So I was denied my right to vote which was shitty and awful. So this year I am voting my ass off.

GO OBAMA! ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Monday, February 04, 2008

Sarah Booz and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I started to write this long involved entry about how crappy today is, but it was (surprise!) crappy, so I scrapped it.

Here are the things that are wrong with today:

1) I did not get to sleep until after 3:30 this morning because I accidentally drank caffeinated iced tea at 11pm last night.

2) I can't see SHIT because my glasses grew legs and walked away this morning. I had them on my face at some point this morning and then when I was leaving the house *Poof!* they were gone.

3) That new policy about having token booth operators wear burgundy vests and wander around the station. If you are in your booth I can find you, if you're somewhere else entirely I DO NOT HAVE THE TIME TO GO LOOKING FOR YOU. Motherfucking fuck fuck that was annoying. So I had to leave the station and go across the street and into a different station so I could get a new metro card which caused me to miss not one but two trains. Fuuuck.

4) There's a school across the street from my office and I don't know if they were thrilled about the Giants winning or WHAT, but there was screaming, SO MUCH SCREAMING coming from them today. That high pitched, painful kind of scream that one can only produce when they are under the age of ten.

5) As soon as the screaming stopped, construction started! Drilling and drilling that sounds exactly like it is IN MY HEAD. Good GOD I did not SLEEP last night and the drilling makes me want to STAB EVERYBODY.

Grumble :( ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Saturday, February 02, 2008

This is awesome awesome awesome

Can. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

TMI, I have foot odor. In a really serious way. My feet, they smell like ass.

But, for the last two nights, for some odd reason -


I'm sorry, what? ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Party in my tummy

So Party In My Tummy got me thinking:
When I was a kid eating vegetables was not an issue. They were just part of a meal and you ate them just like you would eat mashed potatoes. My parents never danced around the issue, there was no forcing me to eat them, and they never witheld dessert. I don't understand why vegetables are such an issue for parents.

I was, and still am, a fussy eater. I will eat snails and squid with the greatest of ease, but I cry at the site of pine nuts. I will gobble down mussels and brussel sprouts and spinach; eggplant makes me sick. I have texture issues, but not food issues. I will try everything, but I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that my parents very clearly said, "You can't say 'NO' until you've tried it." So I tried everything...then I whined.

You're only allowed to cry until you've tried something.

This goes for everything. You can't say, "I hate Harry Potter" unless you've read (or at least tried) one of the books. You can't say, "Yoga sucks" unless you've done it.

We live in a world now where everything (from ice fishing to skydiving) is a click away. You're not allowed to say "NO" unless you've tasted, or (for some things) seriously considered tasting. It's too big of a world. You can't close yourself off to anything. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves