I have had the hiccoughs (or hiccups. Whatever.) on and off ALL FREAKING DAY. But it's okay! Thanks to the wonder that is the internet, I have learned the following things:
Hiccups are sudden, involuntary contractions of the diaphragm muscle.
Actually, I already knew that one. I thought maybe some of you did not.
Although associated with a variety of ailments (some can be serious such as pneumonia or when harmful substances build up in the blood for example from kidney failure), hiccups are not serious and have no clear reason for occurring.
Excuse me? Hiccups can signal kidney failure? That seems like some shotty wiring right there. “Ah yes, connect the diaphragm to the kidneys and make it shake if they fail.” WHAT?
A case of the hiccups is rarely a medical emergency. If your hiccups last for more than 3 hours, occur with severe abdominal pain, or you spit up blood, however, you should seek medical attention.
Well DUH. Hiccups or not, if I start spitting up blood I’m calling a doctor.
Diagnosis is based on physical evaluation. Laboratory testing is rarely necessary unless your hiccups are a symptom of an associated condition.
If you need a doctor to diagnose your hiccups, you are an idiot. If your doctor needs to run lab tests in order to diagnose your hiccups, you need a new doctor.
- For the common hiccups that will usually stop on their own, home remedies are generally recommended.
- For more severe, persistent hiccups, your doctor may try medications to manage your hiccups. Chlorpromazine (Thorazine) is usually the first prescription medication tried for hiccups
Wait…Wait…hold up. Thorazine for hiccups? Seriously? Do you know what Thorazine is normally used for? TREATING SCHITZOPHRENIA. Fucking Hell. I am never going to the doctor for hiccups. Ever.
It’s not actually anything to worry about:
In healthy people, hiccups usually go away by themselves with no serious effects after that. If hiccups continue, however, they may cause social embarrassment and distress.
So Everything will be okay, even if you’re a little embarrassed. Unless of course you are coughing up blood or put on anti-psychotic medication.
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