Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Hate hate hate hate hate

In case you missed it: I hate clogs.

Seriously, seriously HATE. I think they are DUMB. So you can imagine my anger when I was walking down Columbus Avenue and I came across this:

A store completely devoted to Crocs. Different colors and sizes and styles! You've got to be fucking kidding me. At least CLOGS-N-MORE had more than just clogs.

So. Grumpy.
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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Thanks Tigerlily

The Tigerlily reminded me of another awesome old school Sesame Street clip: good.

I e-mailed the link to Put Down the Duckie to my mother because she never remembers to read this thing and she LOVES Put Down the Duckie. This is what she had to say:

WOW! Only everybody in the world sidereal universe is in that! I LOVE it! THANK YOU!

Much love, Mom

Which, if you know my mother, sounds really weird because MAN is she excited. And not in a snarky way either. She just really really loves that song.

Nerds breed nerds.

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Monday, January 28, 2008

Hai Guyz!

hay guise
moar funny pictures

Juuuust kidding.

No, seriously, I just realized that I had not blogged about something very very important. Namely, this YouTube clip from a new children's show called Yo Gabba Gabba! I have yet to see a full episode, but from what I have seen it is the most awesome kids show since Sesame Street was still awesome.

Try getting that out of your head.

But back to Sesame Street and how it used to be awesome. Now it's all Elmo and cute and LAME. But back in the day, oh used to be great:

Did you SEE all the cameos? Freaking sweet.

And speaking of cameos:

Yeah, Biz Markie is a regular on Yo Gabba Gabba.

I can has kids now? ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

All I want for Christmas is a Pleo

Or my birthday, that works too.

Incase you forgot, I mentioned the Pleo at the end of this post. And then, because he is AWESOME, my friend decided to lend me one of his. Because, yes, he has two.

That's Cleo the Pleo and she spent the night with me last week. The weird part about hanging out with this little robot was that I found myself wanting to give it attention. I felt guilty when it whined or cried and ran to pet it so that it would stop. I was consoling a robot. How weird is that?
As someone who grew up with pets but is unable to have them now, the Pleo is kind of perfect. It can be left alone, it won't starve or pee on the rug, but it also has the ability to cuddle. Once you get used to the weird robot noises, that is. As cute and cuddly as it is, you can hear the gears and robot parts moving underneath its rubbery skin. I was surprised at first by how loud it was, and equally surprised by how quickly I blocked it out.


I learned very quickly what this little robot did and did not like. Rub it under its chin and it will make a sound somewhat like a purr and come closer; pick it up by its tail and it will scream, flail, and sulk. It also, I found out quite accidentally, really enjoys playing tug-o-war. When I first met the Pleo, I was inspecting and petting it, when I guess it caught sight of one of my hoodie strings and latched on. Then, shaking its head to and fro made a little growling noise and actually reacted when I tried to pull the string away. I was totally amused, it was great.

Basically, the Pleo, she is awesome and I want to fill my apartment with them.

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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

So effing scary

The 90s were a badly dressed and scary time:

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Monday, January 21, 2008

And now for something completely different

Shit. I almost forgot. Two fun things happened on the subway home:

1) ran into the guy who pierced my eyebrow when I was fifteen. I really don't know why my brain retains this information, but it does. After he exited the train I remembered that day in ridiculous amounts of detail. I remembered that the two people with me were my friend Will and this super awkward guy who used to hang out by the Cube at Astor Place. I can't remember his name, but I remember that he really wanted to be a cop and would sometimes pretend that he was. And not in a "protect the people!" kind of way. It was more of a LARPer thing. He was really awkward and strange. I also remembered lying in order to get the piercing done. It wasn't that long ago, but things were so much more lax when I was younger and it was very easy to just walk into a place and go, "Yeah, I'm definitely sixteen. Let's do this!" without getting any questions.

2) A guy sat next to me very openly reading this:
The worst part was that he was reading the chapter entitled "An Insider's Guide to 'The Brady Bunch'" which was nothing but plot synopses of Brady Bunch episodes. I read a lot of weird things, but I usually read them in the bathroom so other people don't actually know the weird things I'm reading. He got off in Williamsburg, so maybe he was doing it ironically, but something about it really irked me. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Then again, maybe we won't...

Friends, Countrymen, Internet -

I lied.

I was all, "woo, YEAH! I'ma go skiing this weekend." And then I didn't. Mostly because, like I said I would in this post, I froze my tits off. Actually, that's not entirely true: the crowds were OUT OF CONTROL. Holy hell. To the point where I completely freaked out and had to leave the mountain on Sunday.

But do not worry! Even though I didn't ski, I did wear the ridiculous neon onesie up to the ski area. The people up there, total ski bunnies and the like, thought I was out of my mind. I got some amazing looks of, "Oh no she didn't!" and "Seriously? You're joking, right?" And it was great because I did and I was. One guy actually came up to me on the balcony of this bar and goes, "Hi, you're wearing the best ski suit I've seen up here all day and I need to get a picture with you." So then his girlfriend took a picture of us standing together and I was embarrassed and it was funny.

So yeah...

It was just so nice to be out of the city for a couple of days and to relax and let my phone die. (To anyone who tried to get in contact with me this weekend, sorry about that. The phone died and I let it. Oops.) There were games and sing-alongs, (Hopefully I'll be able to post a video of me singing and dancing while imbibing what turned out to be far too much whiskey. My stomach, she still turns when I think of it.) naps and books. It was something that I really needed.

And the food! The Tigerlily, as always, amazed everyone with her culinary prowess and we ate like kings and queens. And she is welcome to go on about how people helped her, but they were ideas and recipes. There was crepe cake and strata and salmon with miso butter! Seth proved his champion eating abilities by almost eating himself sick on more than one occasion. Oh and there was a lot of cheese. (Garlic cheddar is delicious and I need to work on getting some in the city because holy shit awesome.)

And I think that's about it.

Pictures to follow - I only brought a disposable and I haven't seen any pictures pop up online yet. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Thursday, January 17, 2008

I am dumb, will be cold, and also will probably hurt myself.

Hi! I am going to Vermont tonight! With the Tigerlily! And I packed every sweatshirt, pair of socks, and thick tights that I own, plus my only two pairs of pants because in Vermont, it is really cold. Like low of 1 degree on Sunday cold...but you know what I forgot?
And a hat.

Because I are dumb. And will be very cold. Oops.

Also - I am going to go skiing for the very first time! On a real mountain! Near people with expensive ski gear who know what they are doing! And I will not know what I am doing and also I will be wearing this:

Yes, that is me on the left, last time I was in Vermont, wearing a ski suit that lives in a closet up there. I am actually going to go in public wearing wearing this, with things strapped to my feet, and this time it will not simply be for the amusement of my friends and the internet. No, this will be real and I will look real dumb.

I also plan on spending a large portion of my time up there curled up in the fireplace with a beer and a book because seriously, people:
I'm going to freeze my tits off. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

This will probably come in handy one day

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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

My heart, she is broken....mostly because I am a NERD

NEW YORK (Reuters) - The award-winning Broadway musical "Rent" will end its 12-year-run in New York this June, according to an announcement on the production's Web site.

The musical, composed by Jonathan Larson, chronicles the struggles of a group of young artists in New York.

"Rent" won a raft of awards following its April 1996 Broadway debut, including a Pulitzer Prize for Drama, four Tony Awards and the New York Drama Critics Circle Award for Best Musical.

Larson never lived to see the success of "Rent," dying at age 36 of an undiagnosed heart condition on the eve of its pre-Broadway opening night at the New York Theater Workshop in January 1996.

A spokesman for the production was not immediately available to explain why the show was closing.

Ticket sales for "Rent" had been soft for some time, according to data from the League of American Theaters and Producers. Box office figures showed it was playing to a little over 50 percent capacity in recent weeks.

(Reporting by Robert Campbell, editing by Vicki Allen)


I love RENT. I have seen it five or six times and I have cried every time. I just got the soundtrack again for the first time in years and I still know all the words. The show reminds me of camp and of high school and I'm really sad it's closing. Anyone want to go see it before it closes? Or am I alone in my sadness/nerdiness?

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I'm getting OLD

I found two more gray hairs when I got home last night. Dammit dammit dammit. I am too young to be going gray. (If I ever say this to my mother she goes, "Well, your great aunt Katie went completely white when she was 23!" If my hair turns completely white this year I am dying it weird colors for the rest of my life. I'm going to be eighty fucking years old with purple hair and it is going to be AWESOME.)

I hung out with Vicky last night at Old Devil Moon where I had mac and cheese, salad, a deviled egg and key lime pie. Also, I woke up today and I was HUNGRY! Which means that maybe my appetite is less weird now and I will be able to eat like a normal person again. Or at least how I normally eat. I mentioned to my friend Pete (now that we are friends again, which is still awesome) that my mother has nicknamed Seth "The Bottomless Pit" because of his eating habits.
Pete: Does he eat more than you?
Sarah: Oh yeah, definitely
Pete: Oh my God. Are you sure he's okay? I mean, I'm concerned for his health!

Yeah, I used to be an eating machine. Which is part of the reason that I gained over 15lbs during the summer of my 16th birthday. Worst. Time. Ever. To gain weight. Seriously. I wanted to DIE.

Right! Getting old - so Vicky and I were hanging out and talking about how our friends are getting married and how much of a mind fuck that is. I'm going to be a bridesmaid twice this year. Once for The Tigerlily and once for my friend Karin. And everyone keeps warning me that in the next few years it's just going to get worse. I don't know if I'm prepared to attend three weddings a year. I went to three weddings in 2006 and that blew my mind. Blah, feel old, blargh.

Also - (because I am actually four) - I really want a Pleo.

Robot dinosaur?

Yes please. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

None of these things are anything like the other

I recently discovered that someone I really detested when I was approximately nine years old has grown up to become a hideous huge troll person. And what did this do to me? Did I feel pity and say, "Aww, that is really too bad, I bet they grew up to be a really good person!" No. Not even a little bit. When I found this out I LAUGHED. Maniacally. Like a CRAZY person. I was thrilled because this person one upped me in a talent show. When I was nine. Hello and welcome to the crazy.


Work has become really busy because January started and suddenly all of our clients who had been completely MIA since the beginning of December suddenly went, "Oh shit! I have a job!" all at once. So that's fun.


I paid for school today! I am all paid off for the semester! I have a new sticker on my ID that says "Spring 08"! It lets me get into the library! Which I never go to! It is green! Yay! (I am going to be in school for the rest of my life, this happy thing will not last, just let me go with it, k?) Green! Stickers! Wee!


In case you were all wondering about my appetite (which I know you all were, you don't have to lie), it's been really freaking wonky recently. So all I've eaten today is half a sandwich, an apple, and three donut holes. And all I want to eat in the world is mac and cheese from Pies-n-Thighs because I just found out that they are closing their doors for good tomorrow. If they actually do reopen in the summer we should all go and have a party because it is greasy heaven and also there is beer. Mmmm...Beer.


Ummmmmmmm....I know there was something else, but now I can't remember it. I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts? Deedledee? No. That wasn't it.

Ah well.

Update: I figured out something else to write:
I just found two grey hairs. I am twenty three fucking years old. This is NOT okay.
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Sunday, January 13, 2008

If YouTube had existed when I was a kid, this would be me:

I too had that awesome speech impediment as a child that caused "TR" sounds to come out as "F." My mom must have had a wonderful time walking me around on busy streets while I screamed "FUCK" every few minutes. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Not dead, but nothing is happening

Well, that isn't true. Things are happening, but it's nothing I can blog about at the moment. So for that I apologize.

In other news:
Last night a sixteen year old boy told me I was ugly.

16 Year Old Boy: Do you want to get to know me?
Sarah Booz: No, you've been rude and I have no interest in getting to know you.
16YOB: Yeah? Well you're mugged!
SB: I'm what?
16YOB: You're mugged! Fucking UGLY!
SB: How old are you?
16YOB: How old are YOU?
SB: Twenty three. Aren't you a little old to be throwing out "Your ugly!" insults?
16YOB: Well you're ugly!


Aren't teenagers fun?
He eventually got kicked out by the hostess after repeatedly calling a friend of mine either "McLovin!" or "HARRY POTTER!"

Then I slept most of today, had lunch by myself and am now going to pick up my laundry.

See? Nothing worth blogging about. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Food of the Gods is all I could have hoped for, and more.

Remember the movie Food of the Gods that I mentioned in this post? Well I finally saw it last night and let me tell you, it was spectacular. For starters, it's rated PG. Oddly enough "PG" in 1977 allowed people to say "Shit", allowed relatively large amounts of fake blood, and allowed childbirth. Interesting. The effects were genius. And by "genius" I mean "craptacular in the extreme". All of the giant animals were just regular animals super imposed over the action via blue screen. Really really obvious and crappy blue screen. And the blood! The blood was neon orange. It looked like paintballs. It was literally the worst fake blood I have ever seen. This movie must have had a budget of approximately $24.

I advise you all see it. Or we work out a drinking game based on it. Let's do the latter, kay?

In other news: my friend PETE, who I love and adore and has been MISSING for the last three years, reentered my life today thanks to the magic of Myspace.

Pete and I went to camp together for one summer when we were about fifteen, became friends and just kept being friends. He was one of the few people who saw my father in the last few days before he died. He was one of the few people who my father gave presents to when he was dying: drugs, a pipe, flash paper and a hidden sparker that would ignite the flash paper in your hand. When I was a teenager and absolutely horrified by every word that came out of my parent's mouths, Pete would provoke my father to tell him stories about going cross country, doing too many drugs, the time he had the DTs, etc. I was completely appalled, but it made Pete and my father in to really good friends. Pete even wrote an essay about my father for a class he was taking in college. On top of all that, he is one of the nicest, craziest people I've ever met in my life and I've had nothing but fun when we've hung out.

So when Pete went missing a couple of years ago I was really bummed out. I've spent about six months trying to track him down, to the point where Seth suggested that I hire a private investigator if I was really so worried, but with no luck. Then today, out of NOWHERE, dude contacts me on Myspace, apologizes for not inviting me to his wedding, and tells me A) that he lives in California and B) that he misses me. I'm upset that I missed the wedding, but so incredibly happy that my friend is not dead.

So's a pretty good day.

And I'm having salmon for dinner. Mmmm...Salmon. Any ideas what I should do with it? ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Scrubbing Bubbles or Strange names I have called my lovers

I have called my boyfriends some really weird things. This is a habit I picked up from my mother who, while she only ever called my father "Honey", "Dear" or "You Asshole", was fond of giving me odd pet names when I was a child. These included, but were not limited to:
  • Mouse Mouse
  • Hamburger
  • Fuzzlehead
  • Whoever You Are
  • Fred
I apparently decided I would keep up this tradition but, since I don't have children, my boyfriends become subject to whatever odd name I decide to call them at that moment. When I was younger, I tended to stick to normal things like "Baby," but as I've gotten older the crazy has taken over and I have ended up calling people some really weird things.

My last boyfriend, for no particular reason, became "Butt Butt" one day. "Butt Butt" evolved into "General McButtButt" which in turn made me become "The Esteemed Lady McButtButt." I really wish I was joking about this, but I'm not.

Seth, luckily, has given me my fair share of weird petnames, so I don't feel so bad when I call him something entirely random. He started calling me "Lamb" when we were first dating and so he, of course, became "Sir Lambsalot" one of the famous Knights of the Lamb Table. On a regular basis he is any combination of the words head, space, face, case, pants, pumpkin, lamb, etc. It is perfectly normal for me to pick up the phone and go, "Hi Spacehead-lambpants!" Which makes NO SENSE. Well yesterday I decided that his new name should be "Scrubbing Bubbles." The best part about it is that it almost sounds dirty. It also sounds like there should be a funny story accompanying the pet name but (guess what!) there isn't. I'm just a crazy person.

Happy Tuesday! ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Sunday, January 06, 2008

To distract myself from what really happened tonight

I just saw The Neverending Story or Unendliche Geschichte, Die for the first time in YEARS. It brought back many wonderful memories, but also shed some light on things that simply did not occur to me when I was a child.

For instance, as a child I never noticed that Falkor was not only a luckdragon, but also a stoned black man. Seriously. He is also exceptionally creepy and might stalk/rape children in his free time.

Come ON now. Seriously creepy.

I also remembered that I had a SERIOUS crush on Atreyu when I was a kid. I wanted to do all sorts of things with that 13 year old boy when I was about 6 or so. I decided I would google him to see what he looked like now. Not a good idea.

Atreyu then:

Adorable! Going to be so handsome when he grows up! Right?


My heart. She is broken.

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Up and At Em!

Sort of...

I made it out of the house today! I had some lunch, I went to an art show, I went to Trader Joe's. It was all very exciting and none of it happened in my bed! YAY FOR NOT BEING IN MY BED!

But now I am at home alone again which sucks. I think it's for the best, though, as I am producing MASSIVE amounts of mucus. Seriously. I am a snot monster. And pretty! Oh so pretty.

Once I lose my voice I'll know this thing has finally left my system. (Dude, don't look at me, but every time I get really really sick I lose my voice just at the end and then I know I'm better. I know it doesn't make any sense, but that's how my body rolls.)

Oh - so my lunch? Incase you were wondering?
Crab cakes Benedict on fluffy biscuits instead of english muffins with a side of homefries that included mushrooms and Parmesan cheese. Oh HELL yes. Thank you, Philip Marie. I love yoooooou. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Friday, January 04, 2008

So sick...holy GOD

So if anyone has been wondering where I've been the last few days, the answer is "IN BED." I am so sick of my bed. Lying down hurts, my back hurts, my brain hurts, I feel like hell. AND I NEVER WANT TO LOOK AT MY BED AGAIN.

I have spent the better part of the last 48 hours curled up in bed. Seth came over at about 1am and brought soup, tea, cookies, apple-sauce, really scary cold medicine that I haven't touched, children's vitamins AND he hooked up my super nintendo so I can do things in the livingroom. The living room is amazing. Do you know why? BECAUSE IT IS NOT MY FUCKING BED.


So yeah...I'm feeling a bit better than I was, but not 100% by any means. Though I do think my fever is gone. Actually, I'm going to check that:

Lalalalala...I hate where the thermometer has to rest. You know that weird little pocket under your tongue? HATE. The body is so gross. And produces SO MUCH FLUID. GOD.

Well, I'm only at 99.9 now which is still normal. And not 100 or 101.

I think I have to go to Trader Joe's because if I don't I will completely lose my mind. And nobody wants that! ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves