Thursday, February 23, 2006

I Hate Clogs

I hate clogs. I mean I really, really hate them.

Sure I had a pair of gold ones when I was in the 4th grade, and sure I thought I was awesome because of it, but you have to take into account that it was 1993 and I simply didn't know any better. You also have to take into account that I wore a denim vest with random buttons all over it with said gold clogs. It wasn't pretty and neither was I. I was a very awkward child.

Moving on!

I spent a couple of months on the west coast (mostly the Pacific Northwest) last year and while there I was confronted with a store called "Clogs-N-More".
I. Was. Pissed. So pissed infact, that I took a picture.


I was jobless, carless and without license while on the west coast, so I spent a lot of time walking around. I also happened to spend a lot of time walking on the street that housed Clogs-N-more. Every single time it made me angry. I must have walked past the place fifty times and every.single.time I got mad.

Is that unhealthy?

No. No it isn't.

Ah, the rain clog. Just what every "girl on the go" needs. Keeps your toes nice and dry while your heels get soaked. It's SO FUCKING LOGICAL. Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK? Who the FUCK thought this was a good idea?? And daisies? Are you joking? These look like they were made by a retarded school child who was tragically born WITHOUT FUCKING HEELS.

I don't know about you, but my heels are prone to dampness. And cold.

Speaking of...look what we have here!

The sheep skin lined clog. Apparently that poor heeless child (heelless? Whatever.) needs protection from not only the summer rain, but also from those harsh Pacific NW winters.
"I know! I'll make a completely useless, brandname shoe! Then people will have to buy them!" (Don't even get me started on Uggs. UGH.) These shoes aren't doing anybody any good. They are only making normal, sensible girls like myself very very upset.

And last, but certainly not least, we have the heeled clog. The heeled clog makes just about as much sense as the heeled moccasin and the heeled flip flop. At least the lady with questionable taste (and no heels) can feel pretty on a night out on the town. Red Lobster and a strip club, anyone? ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves