I got my period today. Accompanied by cramps and general unpleasantness. Fun! I never used to get cramps. When I was younger my period came and went, and while annoying, it was never painful. Until an old woman (A WITCH! A WITCH! BURN HER!) cursed me.
Around November of 2001 I was sitting outside the Brooklyn Museum waiting for a friend, wearing an unattractive long blue coat, when an old woman with a shopping cart approached me. "Do you get cramps when you menstruate?" She asked me in her scratchy old lady witch voice.
"Do you get cramps when you menstruaaaaaate?" She repeated.
"No, never! I'm, um....very lucky?" I replied. I was relatively disturbed that a stranger was asking me about my period.
"Well you will! Sitting on cold things! That's where the trouble starts!"
"I...What? But I'm sitting on my coat! I'm okay!"
"That's where the trouble starts!" She said, pointing at me menacingly. And then she shuffled away.
And then I started getting cramps.
ANYWAY - to top everything else off I got a nosebleed when I got home. After I had used up the last of our toilet paper I realized I had something else that would stop the blood flow:
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7 years ago