Sarah Booz Will Eat You: "Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it."

I was looking in my spam folder on gmail the other day when I noticed a link at the top of the page, one of those ads that are supposed to have something to do with what you're reading, and it said "French Fry Spam Casserole."

Excuse me?

I clicked on the link and was greeted with one of the most disgusting recipes I have ever encountered. Behold:

Title: FRENCH FRY SPAM CASSEROLE
Categories: Main dish
Yield: 8 servings

1 pk Frozen french fry potatoes,
-thawed (20 oz)
2 c Shredded Cheddar cheese
2 c Sour cream
1 cn Condensed cream of chicken
-soup (10 3/4 oz)
1 cn SPAM Luncheon Meat, cubed
-(12 oz)
1/2 c Chopped red bell pepper
1/2 c Chopped green onion
1/2 c Finely crushed corn flakes

Heat oven to 350'F. In large bowl, combine potatoes, cheese, sour
cream, and soup. Stir in SPAM, bell pepper, and green onion. Spoon
into 13x9″ baking dish. Sprinkle with crushed flakes. Bake 30-40
minutes or until thoroughly heated.

Holy shit.  What do you do if someone serves you this?  And do you think there is a
set of rules somewhere that says you must live in a home with wheels in order to cook this?

The Recipe Source has some other gems as well:

1. Cantonese Sweet And Sour Spam

2. Dipped Spam Swiss Sandwiches

3. Classic Spam Potato Salad

4. Vegetable Spam Stuffed Acorn Squash

5. Deviled Green Eggs And Spam

6. Spam Breakfast Bagels

7. Hearty Spam Breakfast Skillet

8. Spam And Egg Brunch

9. Elegant Potato Spam Casserole

10. Double Cheese Spam Bake

11. Spam-Mac Casserole

12. French Fry Spam Casserole

13. Spam Cheesy Broccoli Bake

14. Speedy Spam Quiche

15. Quick Spam Quiche

16. Speedy Spam Quiche

17. Cricket's Spam Quiche

18. Spam Strudels With Mustard Sauce

19. Spam Vegetable Strudel

20. French Fry Spam Casserole

21. Savory Spam Crescents

22. Spam Swiss Pie

23. Spam Vegetable Soup With Cheese-Topped Croutons

24. Spam Meal In A Bundle

25. Creamy Spam Broccoli Casserole

26. Spam Hot And Spicy Stir-Fry

27. Spam Hot Vegetable Salad Sandwiches

28. Spam Veggie Pita Pockets

29. Vineyard Spam Salad

30. Spam Ala Gary

31. Spam Stew With Buttermilk Topping

32. Spam Breakfast Burritos

33. Spam Confetti Pasta

34. Spam Primavera

35. Spam Broccoli Pecan Salad

36. Spicy Spam Kabobs

37. Healthy Spam Peppers

38. Coconut Beer Batter Spam with Raspberry Horse

39. Spam Denver Biscuit Souffle

40. Spam Fajitas

41. Spam Hashbrown Bake

42. Spam Vegetable Casserole

43. Spam Ala Gary

44. Spam Primavera

45. Spam Hashbrown Bake

46. Delicious and 'Good For You' SPAM Salad

47. Spam-Bolaya

48. Easy Spam Triangles

49. Gingered Spam Salad

50. Spam A La King

51. Spam-Mac Casserole

52. Spam Salad Cones

53. Spam Skillet Casserole

54. Spam Stuffed Potatoes Florentine

55. Spam Imperial Tortilla Sandwiches

56. Spam Western Pasta

57. Spam Fettuccini Primavera

58. Spam Hawaiian Pizza

59. White Spam And Garlic Pizza

60. Hawaiian Spam Pizza

61. Spam Reuben Sandwich

62. Spam Pizza Pockets

63. Dipped Spam Swiss Sandwiches

64. Spam Imperial Tortilla Sandwiches

65. Spam Imperial Tortilla Sandwiches

66. Maui Spam Muffins

67. Mondo Spam Deluxe On Rye

68. Bone Hunter's Spam Delight

69. Spam Carbonera

70. Super Spam Cheeseball

71. Spicy Spam Party Dip

72. Spam Meat Spread

73. Spam Fiesta Dip

74. Spam Western Bean Soup



I've bolded the important recipes.

Number 9, Elegant Potato Spam Casserole.  Right, because anything including Spam is going to be elegant.

Number 68, Bone Hunter's Spam Delight.  The name caught me off guard, but the recipe is even better:

Recipe By     : James I. Kirkland Ph.D.
Serving Size  : 1    Preparation Time :0:00
Categories    : Meats

 Amount  Measure       Ingredient -- Preparation Method
--------  ------------  --------------------------------
  1      can           spam

Open can. Take a green branch from a Utah Juniper. Sharpen the point. Plunge it
through the Spam. Hold over a low fire of Juniper wood. Turn slowly. Roast for
about 15 minutes. May be eaten off the stick or sliced onto some hard tack.

                  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 NOTES : This is a delightful meal eaten often by underfunded paleontologists in
  the field.

WHAT THE FUCK. I was always under the impression that if you had enough money and brains to get your PHD you would have absolutely nothing to do with canned meat. Apparently I was mistaken.

And finally, my personal favorite, number 38: Coconut Beer Battered Spam with Raspberry Horse.

Horse is apparently a typo for Sauce, as it is not mentioned in the recipe at all. The raspberry horse is made from "raspberry sauce or jelly" and horseradish sauce. I've been on the verge of throwing up all night and this might actually push me over the edge. I also hate coconut, which doesn't help matters.

Spam, ladies and gentleman, it will blow your mind.