OUCH. Let me repeat: O-U-C-H

For once in my life I am actually spending the New Year trying to make a better me. The first and second changes are not that strange: I got new glasses (well, Seth got me new glasses) and got a haircut. A professional haircut! I didn't cut it myself this time!

This is the part where you tell me I'm pretty. (Seth hates it. Shhh. He didn't want me to tell you that.)

The hairdresser, Mike, made fun of the state my hair was when I got to him.

Mike: Um...what's with the color?
Me: I got mad at a boy in July and dyed it black.
Flamboyant Assistant: Why do girls always take it out on their hair?
Mike: ::Shakes his head:: Who was the boy?
Me: Um...my then ex-boyfriend who is now my current boyfriend? It's a long story.
Mike: ::Rolls his eyes:: And when was the last time you got a hair cut?
Me: Um...well, my old roommate cut a couple of inches off with a pair of kitchen scissors? A couple of months ago? Does that count?
Mike: You are never allowed to touch your hair again.

Which is probably very good advice.




It is the THIRD change I've made this year that is the real shocker for anyone who knows me. For those of you that don't know me? I am lazy. Very lazy. My favorite things in the world are sleep and bacon. Everyone have a clear picture now? Are you sitting down? Comfortable? Excellent...






I joined a gym.




Now, please - nobody panic! I haven't lost my mind...I just...well...I'm turning twenty-five this year and the gym by my house is really REALLY cheap and...I've started to feel a little tubby. (A diet of sleep and bacon will do that to a girl) And I would be pleased if my arms were slightly less jiggly. And the gym - holy shit it is cheap. And a LADY gym, which means I don't have to deal with BOYS and feel self conscious. YAY!

Today was my second day at the gym and I am HURTY. Oh, I should probably mention this: this was my second day at a gym. Ever. Remember the lazy? Told you.

But as much pain as I'm in I'm also feeling good. Kind of, PUMPED. It feels bizarre. I've never really been invested in taking care of myself before.

I think I might actually stick with this...huh.

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It was bound to happen soon enough

Remember little Adolf Hitler Campbell? He and his sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, were (finally) taken away from their parents last night. Apparently there had been no reports of child abuse, but isn't the name Adolf Hitler enough? Not to mention being raised to be completely and totally racist.

That sounds like abuse to me.

You can read the full story here.

In other news - I finally saw Twilight and Bride Wars on Sunday. My friend V and I were feeling a touch under the weather and decided to do a sneaky double feature in Union Square. Something I had not done since I was about twelve. I'd forgotten how EASY it is.

Bride Wars was completely and totally terrible, yet managed to make me cry. Because I am a complete and total baby and everything makes me cry. When I was six I had to be physically removed from a movie theatre during BINGO because I was sobbing so hysterically. Don't remember Bingo? Nobody does. Here's the summary (thanks IMDB) :

When Bingo, a runaway circus dog who leaves the big top, saves the life of Chuckie, a young boy who is having trouble fitting in with his pals. The two quickly become best friends-skateboarding, playing pinball, and doing math homework together. But Chuckie's parents discover the stowaway pooch, and make no bones about the fact that Bingo will not accompany them on their cross-country move. What follows next is a heart warming 1000 mile adventure of puppy love and loyalty as Bingo and Chuckie encounter nutty characters and hilarious situations in their quest to be reunited. Dog catchers, kidnappers, hospitals and even prison cant keep the two misfits apart!

Uh huh. Physically removed. Because I was HYPERVENTILATING.

As a teenager I had to stop watching Ice Age on a plane because I was crying so much that my seatmate noticed.

When I watch E.T. I start crying the second the first bicycle leaves the ground and I don't stop until the end of the film. I'm terrible.

Anywho, Bride Wars sucked. Don't waste your money.

Twilight? Also sucked. If you haven't read the book the movie will make absolutely no sense to you. V was confused. Hell, half the time I was confused. It was completely terrible. But you know what I'm doing now? Rereading Twilight! Why? Because Stephanie Meyer has managed to write crack.

So you know what?

Fuck you Stephanie Meyer! Give me my life back! ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Poor Kids

Back in April a couple from New Zealand was told that they could not name their child "4Real", and were quite upset about it. They opted instead to put "Superman" on his birth certificate and continue to call him 4Real around the house. When asked why they named him 4Real to begin with, "Mr Wheaton said he came up with the unlikely moniker after seeing the baby for the first time in an ultrasound scan and realising their baby was 'for real'."

Yeah, some people should not breed.

In July, New Zealand was in the news again for weird baby names. A nine year old girl named, no kidding, "Talulah Does The Hula From Hawaii" was scared of being teased by her classmates and asked to be called "K" instead. She had her name legally changed, but the Judge, Rob Murfitt, attacked the trend of weird names and was able to cite several examples of both allowed and banned names.

The banned names included Fat Boy, Fish and Chips (twins), and Sex Fruit. The allowed names were not much better and included Violence, Number 16 Bus Shelter, and a set of twins named Benson and Hedges.
As I stated when this article first came out, the only reason I can imagine for a child being named Number 16 Bus Shelter would be if they were conceived there. And if that's the case? Ewwwwwwww....

Also? Twins named Fish and Chips are way less trashy then a set named Benson and Hedges. Just sayin'.

Anywhoooo, this week Americans decided to get in on the weird baby name trend. Though in the case of this New Jersey couple the names were more offensive than strange. The Campbell family of New Jersey was very upset when a local establishment refused to write their son's name on a birthday cake. Their son's name is Adolf Hitler Campbell.

I'll let that soak in for a minute.

They said that they named their son that because it was original and they liked the name. It has nothing to do with the fact that they are insane racists! Of course not! If they were insane racists would they have named their second child JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell? I think not! (No, seriously, they really named their daughter that.) Would they give their third child a middle name that sounds suspiciously like Himmler? Of course not!

I'm really hoping this whole thing turns out to be a hoax.

Can we start manditory IQ testing for breeding rights? Because this is getting ridiculous.

Thanks to Geekologie for all the tips! ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

What in the world is going on?

No, seriously. This week the following stories have popped up in the news:

1) There is a Flat-Earthers Society. No, really. From Fox News:

"People are definitely prejudiced against flat-Earthers," Tennessee-based computer scientist and society member John Davis tells the BBC. "Many use the term 'flat-Earther' as a term of abuse, and with connotations that imply blind faith, ignorance or even anti-intellectualism."

These people think that the moon landing was faked, as well as the images sent back to us. (Well, naturally. You can't take pictures from the moon if you haven't actually BEEN to the moon, can you?) They also believe that Antarctica forms an ice circle around the entire circumference of the Earth Disk, keeping the atmosphere in or something. That just doesn't seem right to me. But then again, I'm a Round-Earther or "RE'er" for short. Seriously, check out their site. It's fascinating.

2) The Chupacabra has been found! Maybe. A cop claims he saw something that definitely wasn't a dog while on a "routine fence inspection drive" (whatever that is).



I don't know. It looks kind of like a dog to me. It also reminds me of this thing:

With a longer snout. Right?

3) Apparently Bigfoot has been found.
That's him. Dead. Chilling in a freezer. There's a press conference in California at noon today with DNA evidence. All together now - oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. And there's more of them! Read the rest of the article here.

I always thought bigfoot looked like this:

(That's a cat I had, years ago, named Bigfoot. Check out the thumbs!)

Thanks to Geekologie for the tips.
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