Showing posts with label embarrassing moments. Show all posts
Showing posts with label embarrassing moments. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

And it pleases me to have you here for just a little while

I will write about my trip (which was AMAZING) once I get some pictures off my camera. In the meantime, I want to talk about something else.

I spent four summers in the Adirondacks at a place called Camp Regis Applejack, or CRAJ for short. My thirteenth through sixteenth birthdays were spent there being incredibly awkward and LOVING every second of it.

Behold the awkward

At the end of every summer I sobbed. Sobbed uncontrollably as we loaded into the busses and I returned home hating my friends because they could no longer understand a word I said. "MOCHEEZMO" meant nothing to them, as it means nothing to most of you. THEY didn't know the entire score of RENT, nor were they able to do duets of "Light My Candle" with me. They didn't understand any of my inside jokes or the wonder that is Donnelly's Ice Cream.* So I did what we all did, and I hiked the shit out of my parent's phone bill.

Oh my GOD. We would spend hooooooooours on the phone. Filling each other in on gossip we had heard on our last four hour phone call to another state, or reminicing, or just speaking in what was essentially our own language. We wrote letters, we mailed packages, we visited each other...we were never out of touch for more than a couple of weeks.

And we returned to camp after our countdowns had reached zero (A lot of us had countdowns. Mine were kept in the margins of my notebook and on my left hand.) We would double check the numbers via AIM

"54 Days!"
"No 53!"
"Are you sure?"
"YES. I just double checked, go count."
"Okay. Hold on."

We hugged each other, we sussed out our new counselors, we checked how the boys were growing and checked out the new ones. We decided whether or not to pretend to be vegetarian based on the food choices it allowed us. And we made new friends. All within the first twelve hours back.

And I think it's the same for most people who went to camp, but because I never went to any other camp I refuse to actually believe this. There's no way anyone else on this planet could feel a draw to a particular place as strongly as we did. It's just not possible.

I write all of this because last weekend there was a camp reunion. AT THE CAMP. And I missed it. There were two main reasons for this:

1) I got back from France on Friday night. It was highly unlikely I would make it to the camp by Saturday morning.

2) It was expensive! The camp held the reunion to raise money for a camp scholarship, and I simply did not have the $225 to spare.

So I didn't go.

When I realized I wasn't going to make it, I was bummed. I would have loved to go, but a lot of people from my cabin weren't going either and while I was upset, I didn't think it was the end of the world.

Until today.

When the pictures started going up on Facebook.

I shit you not, I almost started crying at the office. Most of the people at the reunion were people I vaguely remember or didn't know very well - a male Apprentice Counselor from my first year there I never spoke to; a guy I had a crush on when I was 13, whose girlfriend I accidentally hit in the back with a door; the counselor from my second year who had to deal with the cabin of insane people I happened to be a part of. Only one person there was a good friend of mine, from my cabin, and I didn't care. I saw the pictures and wished so badly that I had gone.

Another friend of mine had the same feeling:

Morgan: gahhh wah i wish we had gone to craj
12:15 PM me: DUDE.
I KNOW
I'm really upset :(
12:17 PM Morgan: me too man
me: :(

They better do it again next year. I will be there with bells on. And some friends.


*Okay, if you happen to be driving in the Adirondacks for any reason, you NEED to check this place out. Seriously. It's amazing. Donnelly's Ice Cream. Write it down.
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Friday, July 17, 2009

Please Don't Make Fun Of Me

Readers, I have a horrible confession to make:

My new favorite show is America's Got Talent.

I never really got into American Idol. I liked watching the auditions, because you got gems like Mary Roach:



But I found that I didn't care when people did well. I was really only in it for the fail. And it feels bad to find pleasure in watching people fail. And the thing about AI is that I feel like they ALWAYS set you up for the fail. But on America's Got Talent, oh boy, you find things like this:



Who I WANT to do well. And she made me cry. And I realize that she's riding Susan Boyle's coattails, but I don't give a shit. I want to hug her.

I also want to hug this kid:



AND Grandma Lee:

Who, while using recycled jokes, makes me giggle.

The fail is still there, but the winners kill me.

I'm in love. Please don't make fun of me :(

Okay, okay, also these guys. I wish you could hear the judges reactions. Check out the postal workers:



Holy balls. <3

Seriously, go to Hulu and watch. I LOVE IT.

:(
UPDATE: Mom, This is for you:

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Sunday, May 24, 2009

I have the legs of a seven year old - I keep them under my bed. BA DA BING!

Summer is a good look for a lot of people. They get tan, they flaunt some skin, everyone is happy. Summer is not a good look for me. (I know it's not summer yet, but it's feeling like it.) I am shiny. I am red. I am breaking out all over the place. I have a pimple on my chest. My hair is the size of Kentucky. This is not cute.

Other people Tan. I get tan on my shoulders but every other part of me will only stick to two shades red and white. There is no in between. And it sucks, because there is something very flattering about summer clothes on tan skin, something I will never really understand. And fake tans and spray on tans look exactly that - fake. So why bother? I think I'd rather red than orange.

On top of the sexy that is my shiny red visage - last night my sandal caught the curb and I faceplanted - skinning both of my knees, the palms of my hands, and (somehow) my left ankle. RAD. I'm limping around today in pain with my right knee covered in band-aids and my left turning a lovely shade of purple. I look like a small child. And the fall was just so shocking. I haven't fallen like that in YEARS and it brought back so many memories of being a city kid and the bumps and bruises you get running around on concrete instead of a lawn.

People always ask me what it was like growing up in downtown Manhattan, and I always tell them the same thing - that I only grew up one way, so I have no basis for comparison, but it was great. I had run of the neighborhood, everyone knew me, it was FUN. I had my friends from around the corner, and their siblings, and we left home in the morning and came home at night. I hate people who say that the city is no place to raise children. It's a crock of shit. I mean, I turned out pretty okay:
Right? ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Monday, May 18, 2009

My Friends Truly Understand Me

There's a website called F My Life where people can anonymously post the terrible things that happen to them on a daily basis. All the entries start with "Today", tell the short story, and end with "FML". My friend Emily was apparently browsing it today, when I got the following message on G-Chat:

Emily: Is this you?
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

No, I am not sexually aroused by bacon. I just love it very very very much. Okay? ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Monday, May 11, 2009

Things Your Mother Shouldn't Read

I started a new blog this morning - Things My Mother Shouldn't Read - and I need submissions.
The idea came to me last night when I realized that I don't post certain things on this blog because I know that my mother, grandmother, and various other family members read this. Knowing full well that I wasn't the only person in this situation, I decided to create a place to house anonymous submissions of the things we want to write about, but are too embarrassed to post.

Feel free to send stuff to thingsmymothershouldntread (at) gmail dot com. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Ahem...::Taps Mic:: Is this thing on?

Anyone? Bueller? Still here with me?

Good.

I'm back.

HEY!

So - My taxes? Still not filed. I'm going to take care of that...um...this week sometime? That sounds good. I need the return!

And California! Holy hell! So much better than last time! I didn't beat the crap out of Seth this time because there were no surprises! There was also no running around like crazy people, so it was a nice relaxing trip. I also noticed something a funny difference between the generations of Seth's family:

Seth's Mom, Step Dad, Cousins: "We hope we get to see you again!" ::hint hint hint::

Seth's Grandparents, Great Aunts, Older Cousins: "We better see you again." In a slightly threatening kind of way. Precious!

Aaaaand slightly scary. Not in a "OMG SO MUCH PRESSURE GAAAAAH RUN AWAY!!!!" kind of way. It's more of a "Holy shit I do not want to get hunted down by old people because they SCARE ME" thing.

I almost suffered a wardrobe malfunction on the day of Grandma's party because the dress I had originally planned on wearing was not cooperating with my bra and because it was NINETY EFFING DEGREES outside I could not fix this problem with the help of a handy dandy cardigan. So I thought, "Oh hell, it's California! I'll just go without!" Things I should not go without? A bra. Ever. Luckily Seth and his brother saved me from this before the party started. THAT was fun.

Me: Baby? Can I get away with this? (Turns around and walks to show Seth what the dress will do when I'm not standing totally still.)

Seth: Hmmm...I think so. Probably. I don't know. Let's go ask Mike (His brother).

Me: ....

Seth: Come on! It's no big deal.

Me: ...

Eventually I did show Mike and at first he said it was fine. Then a moment later Seth came up and said that, on second thought, maybe it wasn't such a good idea but if I was really concerned I should ask his mother.

AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAA. Could you IMAGINE?

Lucky for me I had a backup dress with me.

And my bra was STILL showing! Because I'm awesome. And classy. And pretty. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Friday, February 27, 2009

Intermission

I didn't make this, I just think it's funny

song chart memes
more music chartsDiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

You know that 25 Things thing? It's totally not happening.

Because I've been tagged a bajillion times in that stupid "25 Random Things About Me" note on Facebook (I'm very popular), I've actually started thinking about it. Which is stupid because I'm totally never doing it. You can all stop tagging me now.

The only thing I keep coming up with is that I am obsessed with weather. Not low or high pressure, and certainly not cloud patterns; I'm obsessed with the temperature. I want to know what the temperature is outside at all times. When I am at my mother's house I watch NY1 almost exclusively because it always has a handy time and temperature thingie in the corner of the screen. ------------------------------------------------------>

I love it.

I also love The Fucking Weather. Because it's funny and doesn't load nearly as slowly as Weather dot com.

I know there are probably plenty of other things about me that people would want to know. But they usually already do.

14) I grew up with a sixteen foot python. But you already knew that because you are friends with me on Facebook, and therefore have access to my pictures and have already seen the picture of me and the giant ass snake. It was my profile picture for a while.

So there's an interesting tidbit I'm not supposed to put on the note...great.




7) I once busted my face in a rooftop wrestling incident. You know what? I should probably not be telling people about that anyway.


22) I mess with my hair after breakups. And it's never a good thing.

See?

I'm boring. (Or just laaaaazy)

Stupid 25 Things. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Friday, February 13, 2009

I am really good at making a FOOL of myself OR never shout "PIEGINA!" in a restaurant

So tonight? At Northeast Kingdom? Where Karin and I had dinner? I may or may not have shouted "PIEGINA!" way louder than I should have. Because I should not be allowed in public.

Basically what happened was this -

After an AWESOME meal of leeks vinaigrette, pork something or another, pork loin sandwich with apple and mustard on an English muffin and a chicken pot pie (and also champagne), I decided to order the banana creme pie. You know that point in a slice of pie when you've eaten the point off and it falls on its back? Insides up? Well, Karin saw this and said, "Look, it's exposing itself!" at which point I said, waaaaaaaay too loudly, "IT'S SHOWING US ITS PIEGINA." Because apparently my banana creme pie is a woman. A slutty slutty woman.

Yeah, not allowed around people.

Ever.

UPDATE: Karin pointed out that what she actually said was, "She's presenting herself to us" which makes the pie a lot sluttier than we originally thought.
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