I Have....NO PANTS!

Seth and I were talking yesterday (Today? Last week? Some damn day) about how I don't spend money on clothing. And it's true. On a good day my entire outfit (including shoes, purse and underpants) will have cost me exactly $0.00. On an average day maybe $20. My roommate works at a clothing company, my friends love to clean out their closets, and I go to my fair share of clothing swaps. (Also, my everyday purse, a Strand Bag, was found in the garbage. PURE CLASS!) I think the most expensive piece of clothing I own is a hoodie I bought in Spain four years ago for the equivalent of $100.00. And I don't even wear the damn thing anymore!

The last time I bought jeans was years ago, and while for a long time that was okay (because I rarely wore the things) I've found myself drawn to them more and more recently for lack of anything else to wear. And this weekend my favorite of the two pairs I own ripped at the knee. I am still wearing them, but I'm thinking it might be time to invest in a new pair.

So where to go? I'm not spending $180.00 on a pair of Seven's. I owned a pair once, but they were a gift because, again, I am not the type to spend almost $200.00 on a damn pair of jeans. I am cheap. I can accept this.

On top of everything else I HATE SHOPPING FOR JEANS. A lot of girls hate the thought of bathing suit shopping, but for me? Jeans. Fucking Jeans. They. Never. Fit.

H&M jeans are not built for my body. I have a small waist and a big ass, and H&M jeans fail to fit over my thighs if I grab the size that fits my waist. Old Navy is always an option, but their sizing has gotten so wonky in recent years that I'm not even sure if it's worth the trip. (Though I do love walking into the only store in the world where I'm a size 2.) I have a pair of Gap capri's that fit me as pants. And I LOVE THEM. But they no longer have a crotch. So...yeah. I bought a pair of Levi's a couple of years ago because they were having a sale, but ending up turning them into shorts and then tossing them because they looked truely terrible.

Oh, and did I mention that I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE TRYING ON JEANS?

Where the hell do you buy YOUR jeans? Should I just shell out the extra cash? HALP!

(Yes, I am riding on the coattails of The Tigerlily's hose post. Shut up.) ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Now I'm REALLY pretty

So, on top of the red, shiny, frizzy, pimply, limpyness I mentioned yesterday, I now smell bad too! Seth and I went to two BBQ's yesterday and I came home from them, like you do, smelling of meat and smoke. (No, literally, I had trouble sleeping last night and kept thinking "Man, I smell like meat." Seth on the other hand smelled of home fries. He slept fine.) When I woke up this morning to get in the shower after a night of tossing and turning I discovered that my roommate, after a night of drinking and apparently meeting Kanye West (still waiting for the whole story on THAT one) had puked in the bathroom sink. The smell was un-fucking-believable and after a futile attempt to get it down the drain, I abandoned my efforts and, gagging, grabbed my toothbrush and brushed my teeth in the kitchen sink.

Then I went to work. Smelling of meat. Because I'm pretty.

As for the puking in the sink, I am confused. Our bathroom is laid out so that you hit the toilet before the sink. At the Tigerlily's house, where the sink is the first thing you see, I could understand this. But here? The toilet would definitely be my first target. Either way, he apologized and the puke has been cleaned up. Thank GOD.

This has not been my best Tuesday. (Though I did win $10.00 on a scratch ticket (don't judge me!))

OH! And because it was chilly today?, I wore jeans. Tight tight jeans. That reacted badly with my bruised knees. Which made me limp to the point that my coworkers would get distracted when I was going up and down the stairs in our office. Yeah. Not a good Tuesday. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Things I am stealing from Seth's Blog

Or Pictures from Seth's phone (instead of mine).

Seth has a tumblr blog called Resign that he uses as a sort of picture diary. So, for lack of better content, I'm stealing pictures from his blog and moving them over here.

At the end of February Seth and I were hanging out and trying to figure out where we were going to spend the night.
Seth: Let's go to my place
Me: No, my place.
Seth: Really, we should go to my place.
Me: No. My place.
Seth: We're going to my place.
Me: FINE. Grumble Grumble Grumble.

All grumbles dissolved when we arrived and I found this waiting for me:

KITTY! His name is Percy, but we usually just call him "The Kitty."

HOLY CRAP. MY BOYFRIEND GOT ME A CAT. Best boyfriend ever, right?!

Just wait...Seth explained to me that he talked to my roommate and he wasn't so into the idea of living with a cat at the moment. So he was going to wait a week before bringing the cat over. Unfortunately, because the cat is SO RAD, Seth fell in love with him and changed his mind about giving him to me.

Awesome.

Eventually the cat DID move in with me, it just took a while. He sleeps in bed with me:
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Seth still says the cat is his. Grumble.

On a completely unrelated note - I got an unannounced day off on Wednesday, so Seth and I went up to Central Park. And then Seth took off his pants:

The whole point of this post was so I could put this picture up. Mwahahahaha

Because sometimes you just need to go pantsless in public. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

If April Showers Bring May Flowers, What Do May Flowers Bring? Pilgrims.

Happy Spring! It's raining, it's pouring and my apartment is falling to bits. Joy of joys!

This morning, my roommate got up and said, "Do we have a leak?" And I told him no, figuring it was just the rain hitting the air conditioner. (The air conditioner in our living room came with the apartment and has never moved. It lives in the window all year round and we're okay with that.) We went out to get some mexican food from around the corner, came back, ate, and were moving on with our day when Seth and I noticed that, oh shit, it's raining INSIDE the apartment.

So now I'm waiting for the landlord to come over and do something about this. It's boring.

In other news, Seth and I are off to California on Thursday for his grandmother's birthday party. It will be nice to get out of the city for a few days.

In other other news I'm lying down typing this on Seth's laptop and it's making my arms hurt. I will provide further updates on the raining livingroom later. If there are any. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Worst. Roommate. Ever.

In early 2005, at the tender age of 20, I moved to Bushwick where I lived with four other people:
My boyfriend, two (then) random boys, and a girl who I discovered was batshit insane the second I got home from a three week European adventure with Vicky.

I got back from Europe on the 23rd of June and was home for two days before realizing that this girl was COMPLETELY INSANE...

I was going to a party that night (still horribly jet lagged) so at about 6pm I wandered into the bathroom to start getting ready. Across from our toilet was a shelving unit that held various things - styling tools, etc. You know, bathroom things. The middle shelf served as our magazine rack. As I sat on the toilet I looked towards our magazine collection and was immediately confronted with a used tampon. What. The. Fuck. Since there were only two girls living in our apartment, and I knew full well it wasn't mine, it had to be the other female roommate's.

Well, at the time female roommate was not home, but the boys were, so I dragged them all in to the bathroom, pointed and said, "What the FUCK is that?" At which point they all ran around going, "ewwwwwwwwwwww!!!" for a while. About ten minutes later I took an unused tampon and threw it at the boys in the living room. It landed in one of their hands and after shrieking like a lady for ten minutes, he turned to me and said, "Sarah. That may be the coolest thing you've ever done." Apparently they actually thought I would throw a used tampon at them. And not just any used tampon, SOMEONE ELSE'S. How gross did they think I was? (Don't answer that.)

Disgusting Female roommate did not come home for TWO days, so we had to keep the damn thing there so we could rub her nose in it like a bad puppy who's peed on the rug. Luckily one of the male roommates covered the offending object in a piece of toilet paper.

When Female roommate finally reappeared I dragged her into the bathroom and we had the following conversation (I shit you not):

Me: What the fuck is that?
Her: (Lifting up toilet paper) Oh my GOD. I'm sooo sorry!
Me: Um, it's cool...I guess…But…um, why?
(Pause)
Her: Well...My sister and I...we're saving them. We're making matching sisterhood puppets out of them.

At which point she wrapped the thing in a piece of tissue and wandered into her room.

All together now - EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

When this bit of information was passed on to the other roommates and various friends who hung out at our apartment we tried to figure out where she was keeping them. I mean, how many places can you keep a used tampon without people noticing? You'd think the smell alone would set off a few alarms. We decided she must have some sort of container she kept them in. On a shelf or something. Apparently we were wrong. This lovely, INTERESTING girl also made jewelry,. Hideous, awful jewelry out of fabric and found objects that she used to decorate her walls and occasionally her person.

You know what else she used to decorate her walls? USED TAMPONS. We didn't notice them at first because of all the other shit up there, but upon closer inspection we realized that she had covered her walls in a collage of skank. She was kicked out shortly after the tampon fiasco, but not before we found three others lurking around the apartment. Two in the bathroom and one on the living room floor, wrapped in toilet paper.

There was also the time she left her dildo in the bathroom for three days, and the time she decided to sleep with her door open so that I was confronted with her boyfriend's balls first thing in the morning.

Man...she was a JOY.

I've gotten flack for saying she was the worst roommate ever because she didn't destroy anything or steal from us. But come ON. It was still pretty bad.

What about you guys? Any horror stories? ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Stuff, Things, Etc

Well , well, well. I have had a busy couple of days. For starters - I started classes again! Hooray!

I'm taking Asian American Literature and Pop Culture, and Latino Communities in the U.S. Thrilling, I know. I've only had two classes so far and am already slightly behind on my reading. Awesome! (I am very happy that I decided to take two classes rather than three this semester because I would lose my mind completely.)

In other news the Tigerlily had her Bachelorette Party this weekend and it was lovely lovely lovely. And a little nuts. And awesome. I danced like a maniac and maybe drank my weight in champagne. Like you do. I also stayed up until eight 'o' clock in the morning again, but unlike last time it didn't rain and I got to sleep outside. It was all I had wanted all summer and I finally got to do it after watching an amazing, though bleary, sunrise on the Tigerlily's deck. Then...at NOON, the Tigerlily woke me up and announced that we were going for brunch and pedicures. I tend to be relatively anti-pedicure as I don't like people touching my feet, but I was still drunk when I woke up and it seemed like a lovely idea. So we brunched, and pedicured, and ate food with Carolina and her boyfriend, and Shai came over. Excellent.

In other other news - a while back, when I was posting about my roommates regularly, a couple of people mentioned that I was a little mean about them in the blog. To which I responded, "Meh, they don't read it. No big deal!" Then the other day I realised that one of them just started to read it and now I feel like a bit of an ass. So - my darling Michael - I'm sorry and I love you and I will now only post nice things about you unless you do something really awful like set the house on fire. Kay? Kay!

Yesterday was supposed to be my big day of getting books and getting ready for my first real day of school. But I woke up as Seth was walking into my room to surprise me and the day kind of got away from me what with hanging out and breakfast burritos. It happens sometimes. The not finishing all my reading didn't even end up being an issue, so my day of well earned leisure was totally okay.

Sometimes a girl just needs a day off. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

A New Bruise

I have spent most of the last week at my mother's house because while I have air conditioning in my apartment, we're at the tail end of yet another heat wave and I don't have to pay for the AC at my mom's because she would have it on if I was there or not. So fuck it, right? Right.

I returned home last night to find old roommate and current roommate playing video games in the living room with our lovely new coffee table and a large amount of baked ziti. Lovely! (And also - free lunch!) It was when I decided to head to my bedroom that things started going downhill. I almost broke my neck because my roommate, for reasons best known to himself, had left my folding chair lying flat on the floor in front of my bedroom door. After navigating around the chair and picking it up, I get into my room and find that the television that used to be in our living room is, again for reasons best known to my roommate, balanced precariously on top of my small dresser. The hell? Since only two of us live in the apartment at the moment and we still haven't figured out what to do with the third room, which is empty, you would think that putting the television in there would make sense, right? Apparently not. So I moved the damn thing myself, dropped it on my left foot, and now have a lovely bruise that I feel with every step I take. Hooray!

When I finally made it into bed I looked up to see the shopping cart (you know, one of these:)

folded up on top of my closet. Where I can't reach it. I have explained to my roommate many times that the shopping cart lives in the living room, near the door, so that we can USE it. And I use the damn thing at least once a week.

I'm just a little aggravated about the whole thing. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Missing Roommates

My roommates have always been pretty good about getting me their rent on time, but for some reason, this month they have not. Which probably has something to do with the fact that I haven't seen either of my roommates in about a month. Hmmmm....I should probably call them.

Speaking of roommates, as of about two weeks from now I will only have one, which should be a nice change. I think that once roommate number three moves out, Michael and I are going to do a huge cleaning of the apartment, rearrange our furniture and maybe have a ::GASP:: housewarming party. Or maybe just have the option to finally invite people over. Because we never ever ever have company. (Actually, the whole thing will probably have to wait until the fall because OMG IT IS ONE MILLION DEGREES IN THIS APARTMENT GAAAHHHH)

But, even though it is warm, it looks like we will soon have a place for people to crash (probably a futon) because we will have an extra room. Hooray!

Yeah, yeah, a lame update...leave me alone! ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Sarah Booz and the quest for the nonexistent flat iron...

So my roommates? Still suck. I have this flat iron that I have had since I was seventeen. My father got it for me the last Christmas he was alive and it still works wonders. I adore it. My roommates, however, seem to think it's a tool and continuously remove it from the bathroom. The last time it went missing I found it hiding out under the kitchen sink. Apparently it was put there "Because it had a plug."

So tonight I come running home to get ready for Valentine's Day dinner with Seth. I gave myself a mini haircut last night for the sole purpose of straightening it this evening. I get home and guess what! My flat iron, she is missing. Only one of my roommates is home so I ask him if he has seen it.

"Have you seen my flat iron?"
"Nope!"

I text the other roommate:
"Have you seen my flat iron?"
"Nope"

Okay...the roommates haven't seen it. A hunting I will go. I tear apart the house in a frenzy trying to find this thing. Roommate who is home hears my bangs and aggravated groans and hides out in his room. After approximately twenty minutes I go into his room.
"Are you sure you haven't seen my flat iron?"
"Dude, I don't even know what a flat iron is!"

Fucking awesome.

So I text message roommate number two:
"Are you sure you haven't seen my flat iron? Because I asked roommate number one if he was sure and he said he didn't know what I was talking about. Do you know what a flat iron is?"

I still haven't gotten a response.
So in case you were wondering why on Earth I would be updating my blog when I should be going out and doing fun Valentine's Day things with my boyfriend; the answer is this:

The time alloted to hair straightening is now filled with absolutely nothing. So I'm sitting on the computer killing time until I have to walk to the restaurant. I am in a foul mood. And to make things even more awesome? I just spoke to Seth and he is also in a foul mood.

Happy Freaking Valentine's Day.

OH...and in case you are a dumb boy and have absolutely no idea what this post is about:

There. That is a flat iron. The exact same one I have, as a matter of fact!

Oh, and also? Blue Cheese dressing should be refrigerated and not be kept on your desk next to the hot wing sauce that also resides in here. Just sayin'.

GAAAAH ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Once again, none of these things are anything like the others

Remember my retarded roommates? Well, it just gets better:

Why would anyone put a lint roller in the silverware drawer? I went into the silverware drawer last night and the rack holding all our forks, spoons and knives was pushed way way back to make room for a lint roller. I didn't even know we had a lint roller! I moved it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have you ever seen Liar Liar? Do you remember that part where Cary Elwes tells Maura Tierney that he loves her on the plane and she responds by choking a little and saying "Thank you!"? I once did that to someone. When I was 17 I dated a boy who we will call "B." B and I dated for about seven months. We were in my bed at my mother's house one night, hanging out, about a month and a half in, and we had the following exchange:

B: I'm going to tell you something.
Me: Kay!
B: I know it feels early, but I really feel like I need to say it.
Me: Kay!
B: So I'm just going to say it.
Me: Kay!
B: I love you.
Me: Kay!

Needless to say, he wasn't very pleased. I understand not lying about it, but I maybe could have been a bit more tactful. Ah well, I was only seventeen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just found out that one of my favorite bloggers, the lovely Amalah, is pregnant. Keep in mind that I have never met this woman. I squealed with glee. A woman I have never met is pregnant! Yay! Seriously, though, check out her blog. I need to figure out a way to become friends with this woman. I adore her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the SECOND time this week I have gotten up early, made lunch and breakfast at home and managed to have a cup of tea before leaving the house! I also went to bed before 10pm last night. Apparently I need at least 8.5 hours of sleep a night to function like a normal person in the morning.

Good to know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God, next week is seriously going to rule so hard. Man oh man oh man. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Soooooooo yeah

A couple of times in the last week I have said (out loud and in the company of people who are not of the blogging persuasion), "I'm going to blog about that!"

And then I didn't.

At this point I have actually forgotten what most of those things were. So they probably were not very exciting.

Anyway...

My weekend? She can be summed up with "beer, beer and more beer." And then some more for good measure. But there was also dancing, working, seeing people I hadn't seen in ages, and too much information being spilled at an inappropriate time thanks to Vicky and beer. Oh, and also? There was beer. guuuh.

So it was a fun weekend, albeit a little foggy. I should not stay up until six in the morning two nights in a row because it messes with my head. Grumble.

Then today I spent more than an hour at Trader Joe's stocking up on food for the week. I was all excited to come back home and cook a delicious meal for myself and relax, but when I got home I remembered the standoff I am currently having with my roommates.

I live with two boys and they do not seem to understand things like "the trash needs to go out" or "dishes should not sit in the sink for more than 24 hours...or 48 hours...or 950 hours" or (and this one is my favorite) "Moving the dishes out of the sink is not the same as actually washing them." So basically I am living in absolute filth at the moment. Seth came over earlier and the first words out of his mouth were, "This place is disgusting." Thank you, darling. I'm aware.

Oh...oh my GOD. I hear movement in the kitchen. And it sounds like someone taking out the trash! I need to investigate.

AH! YES! I fucking WON!

Now I'm going to go do the dishes. Blargh.

Happy Sunday! ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves