Mystery of the week - Versailles Boutique on 8th Street

Versailles Boutique has been on the corner of 8th street and MacDougal for about as long as I can remember which is a complete mystery to me. "Why is it a complete mystery?" you wonder?

Hello and welcome. Who the hell is shopping at this store? It's super expensive, so it's not strippers, unless they are like...really high end strippers or something. Paris Hilton maybe?
Hold on, there's more:

Seriously...What. The. Fuck.

Aaand it gets worse:
Just LOOK at this stuff! I am completely flabbergasted every time I walk past this place. It just doesn't make sense. The only people who dress like this are drag queens and Lil' Kim and those two markets are simply not enough to keep a high end (high end as in expensive, not classy...obviously.) shop alive for so many years.

The best thing I've found on the place? A review on Yahoo!:

"Cousin to the better known L'impasse across the street, Versailles features more of the same made in France high quality outrageous diva fashion. Pink leather bustiers studded with rhinestones, furry bikinis and slinky low cut evening dresses. Whatever you want that is trendy, you are sure to find it at Versialles."

What the fuck trends are these people following!

What this blurb should read is:

"Cousin to the better known L'impasse across the street, Versailles features more of the same made in France high quality outrageous diva fashion. Pink leather bustiers studded with rhinestones, furry bikinis and slinky low cut evening dresses. If you want to look like a complete whore, please shop Versialles."

Also, "better known L'impasse"? Better known to whom, exactly?

Anyone? Bueller?

This store breaks my brain.

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The lolcats understand me

See?

They understand!

Thanks ICHCB! ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

iPhone!

I'm posting from my iPhone, Bitches!

It's hard.

The end. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

What year is it? Part II

It's official. We are in a time warp.Everclear, Soul Asylum and Cracker are playing Webster Hall. Together. Tonight. It's definitely 1997. I imagine the show will be filled with people far too old for flannel and bleached hair.

I'm scared.

The Tigerlily also pointed out a trend I forgot to mention in Part I. Pegged Jeans. I found this photo on flickr under the headline "Pegged jeans are totally coming back." Fuck you, dude! Don't say that. It's not funny. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

What year is it?

So I've been seeing a lot of clothing recently that convinces me it is 1993 and not 2008. (Granted, this is coming from a girl wearing cutoff shorts over leggings at the moment, but no matter. I love the 90s and have never fully been able to let them die.) There's a difference between honestly loving the 90s and being a fashion whore. There is also a huge HUGE problem when things like this begin popping up in stores:

You have got to be fucking kidding me. Suede-rhinestone peace sign-heeled clogs. (If you don't know about my hatred of clogs, feel free to catch up.) I took this photo on Saturday, and no, I hadn't been in the TARDIS. (Points for anyone who knows what I'm talking about.) This trend can't be coming back. I won't stand for it!

I'm happy to embrace some throwbacks. Leggings? Fine. I shunned them for a while but MAN are they comfortable. The return of the Bedazzler? Awesome! Bedazzling is fun! (Though the new Bedazzler kind of sucks. It just doesn't seem to work as well as the old one.) The Music? Oh yes. 90s Dance Parties are the absolute best.

And then there are others that I am simply not having. And I keep seeing them, and I keep hoping I'm imagining the whole thing.Motherfucking high-heeled sneakers. No. No. No. No. No. They were not a good idea in 1996 (when I owned not one, but two pairs of chunky heeled tan sneakers) and they are not a good idea now.

They're just so trashy. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Dammit Dammit Dammit

Thanks to my mother, I am a relatively good cook. I can roast a chicken, I can make pork chops in various ways, and I make a mean salad dressing. Only two basic things have eluded me: rice and scrambled eggs.

On Sunday morning, for the first time in my life, I managed to make decent scrambled eggs. After being up all night with a group of friends no less! They weren't just broken up fried eggs, they were actually scrambled, and they were tasty! And the right consistency! I was very proud of me.

So tonight I thought I would try rice again. I beat one of my cooking phobias this week, why not try another? Right?

Wrong. I still can't manage to make rice that isn't crunchy in the middle. And this rice is so good too! It's a recipe I got from Seth where you use a can of tomato sauce in place of one cup of water and let the rice cook with diced onions and garlic. Then you melt cheddar cheese on top of it and it's freaking awesome. Except not when it is crunchy.

So attention people who cook - HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!!!

(Now that I think about it, my mother could never do rice too well either. And the woman is incapable of cooking fettuccine. It is without fail uncooked in the middle. Hi Mom! I love you!) ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Two Quick Things

1) I was a runner-up in the Headline Contest over at Overheard in New York!

In the 70s They Called That a 'Nose Job'.

JAP: I did the whole Manhattan/Long Island/Westchester Jew thing this year.
Guy: How'd that work out?
JAP: I think I'm going to cut that phase in my life.

--NYU

Overheard by: A. Pincus

Headline by: Still got my original nose.

Runners-Up:
· "By Which I Mean the Inside Of My Thigh" - Tadzio
· "I Realized I Can Keep the Sense Of Entitlement Without All That Extra Work." - stoobydoo
· "I Think Hitler Tried That Already...." - Sarah Booz
· "I'll Tell the Guy Who's Ghost-Writing My Autobiography Later Today" - Louis
· "JAP Code for I Was Slutty and Need an Abortion" - Casual Observer
· "Sort Of a "Lifestyle Bris"" - Chris


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

via Overheard in New York, Aug 18, 2008

2) My favorite neighborhood graffiti is gone.

R.I.P. Penis on wheels. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

What in the world is going on?

No, seriously. This week the following stories have popped up in the news:

1) There is a Flat-Earthers Society. No, really. From Fox News:

"People are definitely prejudiced against flat-Earthers," Tennessee-based computer scientist and society member John Davis tells the BBC. "Many use the term 'flat-Earther' as a term of abuse, and with connotations that imply blind faith, ignorance or even anti-intellectualism."

These people think that the moon landing was faked, as well as the images sent back to us. (Well, naturally. You can't take pictures from the moon if you haven't actually BEEN to the moon, can you?) They also believe that Antarctica forms an ice circle around the entire circumference of the Earth Disk, keeping the atmosphere in or something. That just doesn't seem right to me. But then again, I'm a Round-Earther or "RE'er" for short. Seriously, check out their site. It's fascinating.

2) The Chupacabra has been found! Maybe. A cop claims he saw something that definitely wasn't a dog while on a "routine fence inspection drive" (whatever that is).



I don't know. It looks kind of like a dog to me. It also reminds me of this thing:

With a longer snout. Right?

3) Apparently Bigfoot has been found.
That's him. Dead. Chilling in a freezer. There's a press conference in California at noon today with DNA evidence. All together now - oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. And there's more of them! Read the rest of the article here.

I always thought bigfoot looked like this:

(That's a cat I had, years ago, named Bigfoot. Check out the thumbs!)

Thanks to Geekologie for the tips.
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Holy Crap! I'm ALIIIIIIIIIVE!

So, yeah...I completely dropped off the face of the planet (okay, fine...just dropped the blog), but I can explain! I really can!

Work, basically, has been a zoo and on TOP of that - our Internet is down at home. So no blogging. See? Told you I could explain. (I win!)

Moving on...

Though Bushwick is not always the safest neighborhood, I am lucky enough to have a police station right down the street from my apartment. There is also a parking lot about a block away where they keep the police cars and I'm just dandy with it. On my way to work the other day, while passing the parking lot, I saw that not everyone is as thrilled with the police presence as I am:


Fuck Pigs. Isn't that lovely? It's literally right outside of the parking lot. I have to give the vandal credit, that takes balls.

In other news - YESTERDAY WAS MY BIRTHDAY! Hooray! I am now officially in my mid-twenties and that is relatively terrifying. I'm not against getting older, it's not something I can get around exactly, but the label scares me. "Mid-Twenties." How the hell did that happen? My present to myself this year was...bum bum bum!...
The gift of sight! Baby got a new pair of spectacles! My prescription had not been changed in about four years and being able to see again is really fucking WEIRD. I'm also having these fun depth perception problems which will pass, but these things are taking some getting used to. Please feel free to use the comments section to tell me how much you love my new glasses and how pretty I am.

Also - Also - Also - I finally tried Artichoke Bassile Pizza last night. I had the signature slice which was amazing, but a little too rich for my tastes. It's most certainly a share with a friend kind of snack. My pal M, who was nice enough to treat me to a birthday slice, likened it to a flat bread bowl,. I was reminded of a really good spinach artichoke dip and bread sticks. Something you can only eat so much of. I plan on going back and trying one of their tamer slices, but am disappointed that I didn't try this place sooner. I keep seeing reviews that say this place was a lot better when it first opened. I guess I'll never know.

But I'm alive! And blogging again! Happy, Garlic? ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves