Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Home Sweet Home

Ah, scenic Bushwick Brooklyn. There are so many things to say about you.
There's the bad:
Rats, trash, screaming children, rats, men who think that shouting, "HEY MA! YOU'RE GORGEOUS!" over and over again will get your attention (Actually, I've noticed another trend in this. These dudes will walk up to you and the following exchange will take place -
Him - Hey Ma, can I walk with you?
Me - Sure.
Him - I really like your style, do you have a man?
Me - Yeah, I do.
[it really doesn't matter if this is true or not...they don't stop.]
Him - Of course you do. Do you love him?

Me - Yes, yes I do.
It's the "Do you love him?" that always gets me. It's like, if I didn't would I automatically run off with you? Because you are such a suave suave man?) and also rats.

There's the good:
Cheap food, cheap rent, easily accessible by two different subway lines, quiet in winter, tons of hot water (I've found this to be a trend in Brooklyn. Freakishly hot water. It's really weird.), people who will offer to help you carry your laundry, and more cheap food.

And then there's the weird: (People mostly.)
-An Asian mailman who wears sunglasses and what seems to be a children's straw cowboy hatLike that one. The hell? I saw him for the first time this morning and I had to giggle. He just looks so silly!

There's the drunken man who lives down the block from me who claims to be a retired cop (seems unlikely), and also to speak sign language. This I know for a fact is not true because when he decided to demonstrate his sign language skills he mostly flapped his hands around a lot and made weird noises. Which was entertaining, but certainly not sign language. This is the same man who claimed to be the mayor of our block and was audibly laughed at by the other patrons of the restaurant we met him in.

The graffiti. There are a lot of teenagers in my neighborhood and they like to write on things. Which happens. (And I have yet to see anything as offensive as the stuff in the Tigerlily's Neighborhood. Actually, that isn't true...there was a very small Swastika on the subway steps a couple of months ago, but it was hard to see.) My favorite bit of graffiti is on a bus stop that says, "SHUTTLE BUS STOPS HERE."

Please notice the penis on wheels. It might be my favorite part.

I actually really like my neighborhood, even with all the quirks and rats. (Have a mentioned the rats?) But the quirks are safe and the rats have yet to invade my actual apartment. So as long as they stay outside, I'll be okay. The second they make it inside I am hightailing it back to Manhattan immediately.
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