As we all know I am quite capable of over sharing and embarrassing myself, but some people are just bizarre. This evening, in a deli near my house, I was looking at the beer selection trying to figure out what I wanted to get when a man carrying far too much in his hands almost bumped into me. The aisle was huge so there was no reason for this until I realized, oh balls, he wanted to chat. Fine. Bring it on weird dude.
"You like that beer, huh? Getting some?"
"Yeah, just figuring out what I'm in the mood for, you know."
"Drinking alone tonight?"
"Oh, no, I'm picking them up for me and MY BOYFRIEND to have with dinner."
And this is when he started making things up. He told me how him and his "girlfriend" like to drink beer all the time. You could very clearly see the train of thought on his face. "She has a boyfriend? Fine! I will make her jealous with tales of my girlfriend! Weeee...." So apparently his "girlfriend" likes drinking Bacardi mixed with "What's it called? Hendy? Hinny? Starts with an H." "Hennessy?" I ventured. "Yeah! That! We got TWISTED on that the other night. I was so drunk, I don't even know how I got home!" THEN he told me that actually, him and his "girlfriend" don't really drink that much, because he's prone to seizures. (WHAT?) Then he asked if I was engaged and when I told him I was not went into this long speech about how his girlfriend wanted him to propose last June, but he didn't because she has an ex husband. And she's carrying the ex husbands child. But somehow, this unborn child calls HIM "Daddy" and he's afraid of child services coming after him. He also told me that him and this pregnant (with miraculously speaking fetus) woman and he have been together for three years.
If you're going to start telling me stories, at least have them make some sort of sense. Crazy pants.
People are so weird.
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14 years ago
