I was completely lame in my late teens

Thanks to the magic of archiving, a bunch of webcam pictures I took between the ages of 17 and 19 are now online.

Here are some winners:

I'm edgy! And vacant! And I have a pink hat!


Look at me! I am goofy and unattractive!

I'm Mr. Hatman! Still goofy, but CUTE also!

Hehehe...I are DINOSAUR! And CUTE! Heeeeee


Thumbs up, internet. I have an afro.


Hee. I am suspicious!

JK. I am sad. And deep.

And LAME. Fuck was I lame.

But everyone looks back and says that, right?

RIGHT?

Just agree with me, people.

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I figured out how to write in Hindi, and Seth's head did not explode.

So I've figured out how to write in Hindi, thought I still have no idea why Blogger might decide that writing in Hindi is something I might need to do.

सी? हिन्दी हिन्दी हिन्दी। आईटी'एस अमजिंग। इ कैन जुस्त दो थिस। होली सहित। ऎंड आईटी ट्रांस्लातेस एवेर्य्थिंग बेक इन्तो इंग्लिश, एक्स्सप्त फॉर आईटी दोएस आईटी फोनेतिकाल्ली। हिलरिऔस्।

Translation:

sii? hindii hindii hindii। aaeetii'yes amajing। i kain just do this। holii sahit। nd aaeetii traanslaatesyeverything bek into inglish, yekssapt phor aaeetii doyes aaeetii phonetikaallii। hilariaus.

AKA

See? Hindi Hindi Hindi. It's amazing! I can just do this. Holy shit. And it translates everything back into English, except for it does it phonetically. Hilarious!

Yeah..so that's fun.

Seth, my mom and I went to Boston. It was A BLAST. I have far too many cousins. I was talking to my cousin Nora, (She's maybe my 3rd cousin or something...3rd cousin once removed? Something.) , who is getting up there in years and I said, "Oh man, we must have like five hundred cousins!" And she responded by saying, "No...wait..." then she paused "Yeah, five hundred seems about right." Basically my family is HUGE.

And I was so proud of Seth. Seriously. We were getting ready in one of the upstairs rooms and he finished before me because he's a boy and they get ready faster.
"I'm going downstairs!" he said.
"Aren't you going to wait for me?"
"No! This is an adventure!"
He jumped in head first. He talked to EVERYONE. He even seemed to have a great time doing it! If I was confronted by his entire family all at once I would sit under a table and cry. I saw cousins I hadn't seen in years! I figured out how people were related to me, which was exciting. My cousin Kate and I walked around going, "We're first cousins once removed!" We were very excited about the whole thing.

And we stayed we stayed with my aunt and uncle and all exchanged Christmas gifts. Their youngest child, an amazing ten year old girl, gave me a teddy bear in a box she made herself out of wood and nails and puffpaint and leather. It's ridiculously cool. When Seth and I went to see them during Thanksgiving weekend she asked me if I had a teddy bear. I told her I did not. She told me that a) everyone needs a teddy bear and b) that she was going to get me one for Christmas. And that's exactly what she did. The box was just an added bonus.

In short: my family RULES. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

UPDATE: Here is what the first part of the blog originally said:

Phonetically:
aaeetii is 4:24am। maay blog kiips traanslaating into arabik...avesome। this nighat just kiips getting bettar।

no, seriausly, yeverytime i phinish taaiping a vard aaeetii turns into phuchking arabik। i diid'tii ask phor this pheature!

vell, i hop yoo are al siing this in inglish।

basikaallii, i niid to get on a bas to bostan in approksimaatelii 6 hours nd maay

Normal English:

It is 4:24am। My blog keeps translating into Arabic...awesome. This night just keeps getting better.
No, seriously, everytime I finish typing a word it turns into fucking Arabic. I didn't ask for this feature!

Well, I hope you are all seeing this in English.
Basically I need to get on a bus to Boston in approximately 6 hours and my mother's



आईटी इस ४:२४अम्। मे ब्लोग कीप्स त्रान्स्लातिंग इन्तो अरबिक...अवेसोमे। थिस निघत जुस्त कीप्स गेत्तिंग बेत्तर।

नो, सेरिऔस्ली, येवेर्य्तिमे इ फिनिश टाइपिंग अ वार्ड आईटी तुर्न्स इन्तो फुच्किंग अरबिक। इ दीद'टी अस्क फोर थिस फेअतुरे!

वेल्ल, इ हॉप यूं अरे अल सींग थिस इन इंग्लिश।

बसिकाल्ली, इ नीद टू गेट ओं अ बस टू बोस्टन इन अप्प्रोक्सिमातेली ६ हौर्स नद मे मोठेर's washing machine decided to crap out. Oh, and my blog decided it wanted to be in English again. Well that's nice.

Okay - back to the washing machine:

Seth, my mother, and I are going to Boston tomorrow morning.
I have no clean underpants.

Actually, that is not true. I have some VERY VERY clean underpants that absolutely refuse to drain. I have some very very clean underpants that are sitting in the washing machine which is still full of water. It has been for approximately two hours. I have tried restarting it, using different settings, kicking it...everything. But still, my underpants, they are soaking fucking wet.

Yes, I know, "Take the underpants out and hang them to dry." That's all well and good, but my pants, socks, and the tights I was planning on wearing tomorrow night are all soaking in there too.

I want
to stab
a puppy.


Also - Greg Johnson - look at my last most recent post...and LAUGH! "HOW IS BABBY FORMED"

Seriously.

I want to light all the washing machines in the world on fire.

And I want to go to BED.

BLARGH।

दिस्क्लैमेर: नो, नेवेर्मिंद। माय एन्तिरे फुच्किंग दिस्क्लैमेर सीम्स तो बे इन अरबिक। लुक, इफ यू'रे इन्तेरेस्तेद - तरी babelfish। इ कुइत.

Shit...Apparently this entry is mostly in Hindi, not Arabic.

WTF.

Translate it your own damn selves। I'm sleepy.

Wait...Why the fuck would blogger decide my blog should be in Hindi?? Gaaaaaaaahhhhh ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

How is babby formed? Or: Laughing so hard I might puke

First read this:

http://sg.answers.yahoo.com/question/index...06163511AAHPrrl

Then watch this:

http://www.somethingawful.com/flash/shmorky/babby.swf

I am DYING ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

No Bruises

So I did not end up going to ride the mechanical bull. This is probably for the best. I doubt I would have been able to walk today. And my exhaustion ended up getting the better of me today which resulted in me sleeping until almost eleven. I was supposed to be at work at 9:30am. Oops.

This weekend Seth and I are going to Boston for my uncle's 50th birthday party. I'm looking forward to it but am a little worried that Seth's head might explode once confronted with about five gazillion people who have known me since I was born. I hope his head doesn't explode, I'm fond of it.

I realized this weekend how awesome/odd my family Christmas traditions are. I always sort of assumed that everyone had the same sort of Christmas. I was mistaken. Seth had never before witnessed the wonders of lighting a plum pudding on fire and then singing to it. He had also never experienced my mother climbing to the top of our stairs, looking out at the Christmas tree and saying, "Well, I do believe this is the prettiest tree we have ever had." I just learned that this is a tradition passed on by my great-grandmother. I think it's a nice one and I plan on passing it on to my children should I ever have any. I also think it's true. No matter how ridiculous it looks, the current Christmas tree is always the best looking because it's the one that's going to hover over your presents on Christmas morning. Actually, this year it really was true. Our tree was bigger, fuller, and less ridiculous looking than it has been in years. It is a truly magnificent evergreen.

On that note, I am going to go cook some dinner. Oh, and Tigerlily, incase you are wondering: I'm having perogies.


OH - Speaking of cooking! I got a SALAD SPINNER for Christmas and I am so excited that I no longer have to shake off or smush my lettuce with paper towels. I'm embarrassed by how excited the Salad Spinner made me, but I don't care. I'm in love with it. And at least it's not a Salad Shooter.

KBYE

Edit: Okay, so dinner is actually popcorn shrimp from Popeyes and rice and beans from the place on my corner.

I'm tired :( ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Pooped

I. Am. Exhausted.

Christmas was, as always, absolutely wonderful, but it took a lot out of me. All I want to do is go to bed, but apparently I am supposed to ride a mechanical bull tonight. This can only end in tears. And bruises.

I was amazed by my family and the fact that they did not get me anything completely useless and horrifying. My grandmother made me the most amazing dragon out of pipe cleaners. It is honestly the coolest gift I have ever received. I want to take it with me everywhere, but unfortunately it is fragile.

And Seth spent it with us! And got to spend more time with my grandmother and we played scrabble and it was all around wonderful.

I love Christmas.

I want to go to bed. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Merry Christmas!

Full update tomorrow, but in the meantime:



So I'm a little late, sue me!

Love,
Sarah ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Yaaaaaaaay!

I'm DONE! Done for the semester!

I am so happy!

I have until the 25th of January to be a normal human being again and I plan on hanging out and seeing my friends and being all around awesome.

My final today was nowhere near as awful as I thought it would be and I actually think I did OKAY.

And it feels GOOD.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

I are a happy Sarah


moar funny pictures

<3 ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

It just took me waaaaaaaay too long to type "school"

Apparently I have forgotten how to spell "school." This is not a good sign.

I have my last final tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it.

Wish me luck!

Shakespearean luck!

I needs it. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Crap crap crap

I just got back to my apartment for the first time in well over a week. Upon arriving and checking the mail I expected to be greeted by a check or two but instead was greeted by two bills, a magazine I had already read, a rude-ish note from one of my professors and a Christmas card.

(The Christmas card was lovely, thank you Zoe.)

And so now by either my roommate, the bank, or a combination of both dicking me over in the money department I'm a little lost on Christmas presents.

Not the best feeling in the world.

In other upbeat news: It has finally dawned on me (at the very bitter end) that I decided to take on far too much this semester. I plan on toning it down quite a bit in the Spring.

Because if I don't I will need to be put away, and nobody wants that. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Famewhore

Hey! There's a picture of me in the New York Post today.

Page 52.

Fun! ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Broken

So I'm still a little broken from staying up for THIRTY-SIX hours last week. Blargh. On top of that I didn't get nearly enough sleep this weekend. On top of that the powers that be in Union Square decided that our hours should be extended. Wooooooooooooooo :(

So...yeah.

I did not see anything nearly as interesting as last weekend in Union Square this week. There were a lot more lonely people, though. People who just want to stand there and chat for twenty minutes because they don't want to do their Christmas shopping, or they don't have any to do. Speaking of Christmas shopping, so far I have bought one tank top for myself and a pair of shoes...and that's it. It's not that I don't know what to get for people, because I do. I just haven't gotten around to actually getting anything. Oops.

By the way, the shoes are amazing and were totally worth it. I tried to find them on the Nine West site so I could post a picture, but they are not there. Boo. They are red and chunky and have a buckle and I am going to make babies with them. LOVE.

In other news I am SO CLOSE to being done for the semester and it feels wonderful. I have one paper and one final on Thursday and then I am done done done! I'm planning on having some sort of celebration after Christmas in honor of my month of freedom. After Thursday I do not have to worry about school until January 25th, at which point I will promptly become a hermit again.

I really need a nap. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

aaaaaahahahahaa

Hi! It's 11:11am. I have been up since 8:30am yesterday.


Weeeeeeeeeee! ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

New York City has the best people watching in the world.

I spent all day Saturday and all day Sunday sitting in Union Square and here is a sampling of what I saw and some people I met:

-A man with no fingers (he had thumbs) listening to headphones and rocking out on air guitar.

-Three women with only one leg.

-A tiny TINY midget working at a hot dog stand. He was child sized with a beard.

-I spoke to a teenage boy who could do the most magnificent impression of Harvey Firestein. Apparently he did a piece from the Vagina Monologues using that voice and wearing a grey wig...IN FRONT OF HIS HIGH SCHOOL. I loved him.

-A man came over and told me the "true story" of rats and rabbits in the Bronx eating toxic waste and growing to astounding proportions. He also told me that a movie called "FRUIT OF THE GODS" was based on this event, but I just searched IMDB and apparently it doesn't actually exist. I am sad.

-One man with no legs.

aaand (my favorite): An Asian, transsexual, burn victim.

I love New York.


UPDATE: The movie is called "FOOD of the Gods" and it sounds amazing.

"Morgan and his friends are on a hunting trip on a remote Canadian island when they are attacked by a swarm of giant wasps. Looking for help, Morgan stumbles across a barn inhabited by an enormous killer chicken. After doing some exploring, they discover the entire island is crawling with animals that have somehow grown to giant size. The most dangerous of all of these, however, are the rats, who are mobilizing to do battle with the human intruders."
-From IMDB

I need to watch this movie immeadiately.

Also - it's based on a novel by H.G. Wells, not the true story of a toxic waste dump in the Bronx.

And there's a sequel! GNAW: Food of the Gods II:

"A growth hormone experiment gets out of hand, when the the resulting giant man-eating rats escape, reaking havoc on the unsuspecting campus. Much blood-letting follows."
-From IMDB

Movie marathon, anyone? ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Xaaaaaaaaanadu....

My friend Christina called me yesterday afternoon and said, "I have two tickets to a Broadway show, do you want to go?"
"Which show?" I asked.
"Xanadu."
"Hell to the yes."

Oh my God. It is so shiny and campy and gay and there are roller skates and approximately a million disco balls and they give you glow sticks and the ushers wear wigs and the male lead is really cute. So...basically...I loved it.

Also - Jackie Hoffman is in it
Look at that face. How can you not love that face? And she's been in everything. The cast was tiny and pretty much everyone was double cast and it was so funny. They made fun of themselves, Broadway, Olivia Newton John and Greek mythology.

I'm going to have Xanadu stuck in my head for weeks. It was the first thing that popped into my head this morning after, "Grumble...I don't want to wake up."

Xaaaaaaaaaaaanandu....lalalala Xaaaaaaaaaaaaanaduuuu...in Xaaaaaaanaaaaddduuuuuu...
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Fuck Clogs

That's really it. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Whose Line is it Anyway and other things...

The Original Whose Line is it Anyway? owns you:




It's the end of the semester and I am exhausted. I really don't know how these things just sneak up on you. Suddenly it's December and I haven't gotten any Christmas shopping done and my classes all end in about seven days. So in the next week I have to write a twenty-five page play and a twelve page paper. Oh, and did I mention I'm working weekends?

I think I'm going to lose my mind.

Luckily I'm only taking two classes next semester which will (hopefully) be easier to handle. We shall see.

Enjoy the video! I'm going to try and update this thing more often, I really am. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Two things I want to talk about:

1) Casual encounters on craiglist. Have you ever gone through these things? It's a bunch of people posting pictures of their naughty bits and asking if anyone wants to do some coke and have sex. I was going through them last night because I was bored and I found a couple of gems:

It is Saturday night and my daughter is sleeping, I am looking for a sexy woman to come over now for some NSA fun. Moaning is ok screaming is out we don't want to wake my 4 yr old. Please reply only if you are seriously interested in making this happen, I have had a long hard week and I need a release only after I make you cum at least twice. This is how I think it should go, you reply, we trade pics, then you come over. Afterward, either we say thank you and go our seperate ways or we do this once in a while.

You have a four year old daughter and you are inviting strangers to your house. Your child is danger of becoming a complete maniac. Congratulations.

ARE U SITTING UP PLAYING WITH THAT WET WET?
DO U WANNA BE BENDED OVER MY WASHING MACHINE ON SPIN CYCLE?
DO U WANT A MOUTH FULL OF BLACK COCKASUARUSH?
TAKE IT OUT & SPIT ON IT WHILE I SQUEEZE & SMACK THOSE TITTY NIPPLES.
PULL UR HAIR & BANG U FROM THE BACK .
PULL OUT & BUST IN UR FACE.
HIT ME UP, ALL UR PRAYERS WILL BE ANSWERED.

Cockasuarush? Really? Who wants to sleep with someone who compares their parts to an extinct species with the brain the size of a walnut? Also - titty nipples.

The elusive cockosaurus

2) I just saw a thirteen year old boy at Starbucks with acne, a severe overbite and an iPhone. Good job, parents! You can afford an iPhone for a kid who will probably destroy it in a month but you can't be bothered to invest in braces or Proactive. Awesome.


I really hate people. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Also (on a completely unrelated note) I finished Deathly Hallows and will talk to anyone who wants to talk about it.

I LOVE HARRY POTTER.



Incase you can't see the shirt says "I <3 Remus Lupin." I do!

Soon I'll be able to post a picture of myself at the book party where I dressed up as Tonks. That shirt, a pink wig, and a wand. Wee! ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Fuck Crocs too

It's hard to find time to update this thing now that I have no computer at home and spend most of my time either reading or sleeping, but here I am anyway. Hi!

I realized that I need to make an amendment to this post.

FUCK CROCS.

Seriously.

I have seen these EVERYWHERE in the last few years, including AT A WEDDING. We have a serious problem when people think it's okay to wear these stupid fucking shoes for anything but gardening or cooking.

So fuck Crocs and fuck Mario Batali.

Seriously. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves