1) Watch this. If you don't find any of it funny we probably should not be friends:
2) I found my roommates! Both of them actually. They did kind things like help me take taxis and cook pasta. Awwww.
3) If my cheese steak does not get here soon I'm going to start gnawing on the walls.
4) It is ridiculously quiet at work today. Because everyone else has already left for vacation. Bastards.
5) I...um...I think I just like making lists.
6) To kill time.
7) While I wait for this G.D. sandwich.
8) Seriously...where the fuck is it?
9) Haven't eaten all day.
10) Require NOM NOM NOM
11) Oh, also - I'm really excited that 4th of July is on a Friday this year. I was really sick of going to some insane rooftop extravaganza in the middle of the week, only to be forced to go to work the next day. Eff that.
12) My birthday is on a Monday this year. Laaaaaaame.
13) Hey! The office phone just rang! I picked it up and all I heard was a man screaming "WHITE HERO! WHITE HERO!" The hell?
14) Got distracted for a minute in there...my sandwich? Still missing.
15) Fuck...LARPers are weird. Poke around for a bit.
16) Maybe I'll go pee. If I pee my sandwich will show up, right?
17) I didn't pee.
18) LIGHTNING BOLT!
19) MOTHER FUCKER WHERE IS MY SANDWICH??
20) People tend to look at you funny if you shout, "YOU ARE NOT MY SANDWICH!" As they walk by
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7 years ago