Tuesday, March 18, 2008

"Precocious Child" or "What happens when you spent far too much time watching fantasy movies as a child."

P.S.41.....................................................Sarah Booz
4-409................................................March 23, 1994
The Magic One

.....Once upon a time, there was a man called Buffkaboo. For some reason, everyone called him the Magic One. He figured out why when he was five. The reason was because if he looked at something and thought about something else, that's what it would turn into. How he figured this out was because he looked at his mother; he was thinking about a frog, and that's what his mother turned into. The next day, he tried something on his father, who he turned into an ant. And then he had the castle all to himself.

.....After a while, he started getting bored. Of course, he kept the frog and the ant in his house, so he looked at them and turned them back into his mother and father.

.....Eighteen years had passed, and he decided to leave home. So he started on his magic quest. He got a castle of his own and whenever he got bored with something and wanted a pet, he turned one of the chairs into whatever he wanted.

.....This was very good because if he wanted food or money, he didn't have to work. He just had to look and think. But after a while, this got boring too. So he got the address of Toa, the head wizard, and asked him why these magic powers have been put upon him. Buffkaboo asked, "Was it you who put these magic powers upon me, or was it one of your worker wizards?" The head wizard answered, "You just looked like a wizard to me," and Buffkaboo replied, "I turned my mother into a frog, I turned my father into an ant, I really do not enjoy these powers. Take them off." This time the head wizard replied, "Nobody knows how to take the powers off. So, you're stuck." Buffkaboo started screaming, "I hate these powers! I'm going to destroy you and your castle! You have to take them off!" Then as loud and as hard as he could, he thought of the place being demolished, and that was the end of the head wizard, which meant all the spells he had put upon people were broken. And Buffkaboo could live a peaceful life.

.....But soon Buffkaboo got bored with that too. And since for a while he had been a wizard himself, and he could still remember some spells, he turned himself back into a wizard, and started having a lot of fun with his powers. He started turning winter into spring, and spring into summer, and fall into spring (he didn't enjoy winter that much). He was a very nice wizard; he never put spells on people unless they really wanted them, like he wouldn't turn someone into a butterfly for fun, he'd only turn them into a butterfly if they wanted him to turn them into a butterfly. And then he lived a very happy life, but after a while he died and that was the end of Buffkaboo.


I like how obvious it is that my mother typed this story for me. Semi-colons? From a fourth grader? Come on. I don't think she did it on purpose, I think her grammar fingers could not be stopped on the old electric typewriter. I just can't believe my teacher didn't mention it. She certainly didn't teach us about semi-colons. I am still slightly confused by semi-colons!

So yes, I spent far too much time as a child watching The Princess Bride, Labyrinth, and Willow. Cary Elwes! David Bowie! And...Dwarfs? I suppose the dwarfs are less sexy than the first two, but I love them all equally? Or something? This post has taken a turn for the strange. I'm out.
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